"If I went to prison would you write to me?"
"No."
"Wow, you didn't even think about it. Like, at at all. Not even like, a split second of consideration. Just shot that down so quick."
"Why would I write you?"
"Because I'm the light of your life?"
"I think you're confusing yourself with banana chocolate chip muffins. Now a plate of banana chocolate chip muffins, I would write faithfully everyday."
"I don't think a muffin can compare to the joys of my excellent conversation."
"That's because you've never had one of my banana chocolate chip muffins."
"Well, I guess that means I'm just gonna have to beat that muffin up. I can't have you liking things more than me, you know. I've got a reputation to uphold."
"Oh Parker, I like everything more than you."
"Jokes on you, that doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I'm like a cockroach. Can't get rid of me now."
"I could just, you know, not pick up the phone."
"You're gonna make me cry and I'm waiting at the bus stop. I'm in public. Be nice."
"You actually left the house?"
"I do that! I do things! I'm a participating member of society!"
"You've been sex-iled again?"
"They were in the shower. The shower! That is a communal room! We all share that! You can't just defile the bathroom like that!"
"Is that why you're going to prison?"
"Well, now I'm not, if you're not gonna write me."
"Judging by the idea I have of you, that's probably for the best. I don't think you could handle prison."
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you trying to say that you don't think I'm a mega hunk with soccer balls for biceps?"
"I'm pretty sure if you were a mega hunk you wouldn't have been trying to solicit sex from a bathroom stall."
"Conversation!"
"I thought we were being honest with each other, Parker."
"That's besides the point, anyways. I'm a total hunk."
"Uh huh."
"In the right lighting."
"Totally."
"If you squint really hard"
"For sure."
"And also maybe three or ten drinks in. But definitely hunk status."
"Forgive me for every implying anything different. I'm definitely going to picture you as a total hunk now."
"Oh, don't worry, Mina, you'll see me tonight. You won't have to picture any longer."
"What?"
"In your dreams, of course."
"I'm double-locking all my windows, you pervert."
***
this is late oops.
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon a Bathroom Stall
Teen Fiction❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be so...
