"So Parker made it out alive last night?"
"Oh my God, is this Mina, actually, truly, calling me first? And at 2 PM? On a Saturday? Not drunk?"
"We can never have a normal conversation, can we?"
"Dear Diary, Mina called me first today. She was totally sober and everything, she just wanted to see how I'm doing. I know. I always knew we'd make it here. I think this means she's finally fallen in love with me."
"Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you just need to stop talking? Just, hear me out okay? Shush. Just shhhhh. We can do it, I promise. I believe in you."
"Okay, so what I'm hearing is that yes, you definitely have, and I should definitely start planning our wedding. June, perhaps? You definitely seem like a June bride. Beauregard can be our ring bearer! It's all coming so perfectly together!"
"Beauregard, that's your dog?"
"... Mina, are you serious right now?
"Oh no."
"No! Beauregard is not the name of my dog! Beauregard is name of our love child! How could you forget? How dare you?"
"Dear God, I'm the worst parent in the world. How am I going to live with myself now? What ever will I do?"
"You are. You think you're going to tie down all of this now? No. You've got to prove yourself to me- no, to us. Doesn't matter if you like it. Don't matter if you see that he wants it. Mina, I am not letting you put a ring on it."
"I'm making some banana bread, will that help?"
"You think banana bread can fix a broken heart?"
"I told you- my banana bread is magical. I'm serious. It's got whimsical properties. I bet if you ate it, one day, I truly believe, you'd actually be funny."
"Oh! Wow! She's got jokes now, does she? We've got a comedian over here!"
"Shouldn't you be happy? At least there's a chance that Beauregard will inherent my amazing genes. Although, do you think your stupidity will be dominant?"
"We started this off so nicely. I remember, in the beginning. You were just wanting to ask me about my day. Where did that conversation go?"
"How are you though, honestly? You still sounded pretty drunk when we talked last."
"Well, as per your guidance, I drank my body weight in water and Kevin and I snuggled all night. It was very romantic. Although he's terrible at hogging the blankets. And he has terrible morning breath. I really need to stop sleeping next to him. I wasn't lying when I said my friends suck."
"You mean the whole walking, talking Godzilla encyclopedia thing didn't work? You both weren't swarmed with willing cuddle partners?"
"You know, last night, when you said it was sexy- I actually think you were lying."
"You remember that?"
"I remember everything, unlike some people I could mention."
"You're not going to let it go, are you?"
"Our child!"
"Now you're never getting any banana bread. Are you happy? Living a half- fulfilled magical banana bread-less life? That's what you've done."
"What? Wait- banana bread was actually on the table?"
"Now it's off the table."
"No! Wait! I take it back! Please! Banana bread!"
"You know what Parker? You should've put a ring on it."
***
one day i will not stick ridiculous song lyrics into my stories.
but today- today is not that day.
(ps i have written out the next 5 chapters of this story so even tho i'm currently hiding from wattpad because of this 20 page report that is due by the end of the week, and lots of other things to come, THIS BITCH GOT SOME ON TIME UPDATES)
(also if you're worried i'm ignoring you because i haven't replied- this 20 page report is holding me hostage i will reply soon)
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Once Upon a Bathroom Stall
Teen Fiction❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be so...
