Boy In My Class [Gerard Way]

Chapter 34: You & I

After the last show, we were given the luxury of a hotel stay for one night before getting back onto the tour bus. After my confrontation with Gerard we didn't speak, and he never came to my bunk that night. The morning came and I didn't see him at all, but we met in the hotel lobby and checked in together, without breathing a word to one another. We took the elevator to our room in complete silence and entered the hotel room in complete silence. Gerard immediately threw his bag onto the floor and climbed into the bed, facing away from me. I gently placed my bag down besides his and left the hotel room quickly, feeling hurt and confused by what was going on between us. I called Alicia and told her to meet me at the hotel bar.

"I don't know what to say," she said, as she paid for our drinks. I had told her everything that had happened the night before and how Gerard was reacting. "It's so out of character for Gerard."

"I know," I sighed. "What do I do?"

"I think it's been hard on him," she said, taking a sip of her drink and staring vacantly at the ceiling. "He studied art at NYU, he saw 9/11, ditched art completely after spending years on it and then formed My Chem, his fame is rising rapidly, his Grandma died, and he's been trying to keep an eye on Mikey who's taking that shit pretty hard- it's not surprising he had a little relapse and wanted to have a good time and have some drinks. I'm not justifying what he's done- but I think we should put ourselve in Gerard's shoes for a minute and think about how he's feeling. He's had it rough Izzy, and you're the only stable thing in his life."

"So?" I responded.

"So...when you're pissed with him, his whole world turns upside down," she explained. "He doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want to make it worse, so he just shuts off and ignores you."

"Are you a psychologist?" I joked. "What if he just likes that other woman and wanted to hang out with her?"

"I don't think so," she said, shaking her head before downing her drink in one big gulp. "Gerard isn't one of those guys who goes after other women. He's completely in love with you Izz."

"So what should I do?" I said, finishing my drink also. 

"You should go up to the hotel room, and talk to him," she said. "You two are married now, you can't fall out and it be in the end of things. You're in it for the long haul."

I stood up and left, assuring her that I would be back later and went back to the hotel room. On entering the room, I couldn't see Gerard, but I heard the sound of water in the bathroom and walked in to see him lying in the bath. He looked a little shocked and frightened to see me stood in the doorway.

"Hey," I said, with a weak smile.

"Hey," he replied, smiling back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not okay," I replied. I took off my jacket and walked over to the bathtub. I looked at Gerard's scared expression and realised that Alicia was right. Gerard wasn't one of those guys. He was different. His facial expression made me feel sad and yet scared. It scared me how much I needed him to be fine. I climbed into the bathtub, fully clothed, and sat with one leg either side of him.

"I'm not okay when we're not okay," I said, leaning in close to his face and gently rubbing my nose against his. "I'm not okay when you're not okay."

"I'm not okay Isabel," he said, raising his hand to push my hair out of my eyes. "I feel like my life is travelling at a thousand miles an hour. Days feel like hours. I'm getting recognised in the street, I want to drink everytime I think of my grandmother, and I keep fucking things up with you."

"You don't fuck things up with me," I said. "Just talk to me."

"I know you don't want to do this touring lifestyle forever," he sighed. "I want you to have our house, and maybe kids someday, and a dog...a typical lifestyle. But I don't know when I can give that to you."

"When did I say I wanted these things?" I said with a small laugh. "The day I met you, you invited me to one of your gigs, remember? In that band you were in that kicked you out? I knew from that day on that you were going to make it as a musician, G. We're only young, I'm in my early twenties for God's sake! I'm sure I'll become a historian one day-"

"A historian?!" he laughed.

"How many times have people laughed at you for wanting to be a musician?" I said in a jokingly-serious tone.

"No, I just forgot...I forgot how much you loved History," he grinned. "And that study club you started...."

"Shhh," I said, leaning in further and kissing him. "History club was a HUGE success."

He kissed me back with force and wrapped his arms around me, drenching my t-shirt in water.

"I can't fall out with you Izzy," he said inbetween short kisses. "I won't hang out with that band again, I won't drink again-"

"G, I don't care if you hang out with other women or have a casual drink," I said. "I just don't want you to walk away from me and not tell me if you're feeling shitty. I'm your wife, you can tell me anything. I'm there for you."

"Pinky promise?" he said, raising his little finger up to my eyes and grinning, making him look like the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Pinky promise," I said, linking my little finger with his before kissing him once more.

*

"So...do you want kids eventually?" Gerard asked as we dried off in the bathroom after eventually getting out of the bathtub.

"I don't think so," I shrugged. "It's not something I've ever wanted. I wanted to work on my career and just enjoy life."

"But now you're married, you'd probably consider it right?" he asked, as he slipped on a t-shirt. 

"Uhm...probably not," I said, turning to look him in the eyes and noticing his concerned expression. "I don't want kids. Do you?"

"Yeah," he said, sounding shocked. "Of course I want kids."

"Well...we can discuss that another time," I laughed. "All I'm really bothered about right now is you and I."

"That's all I care about too," he said, before lifting me up and practically throwing me out of the bathroom and onto our hotel bed. "You & I."