Legitimately Me ||H.S||

Chapter 31

I didn't end up getting a round two. 

I didn't even have time to process a word he said.

The second those three words came out of his mouth, we looked at each other and didn't move. And I'm sure I looked quite the same as he did, our eyes both wide. Except my look was filled with confusion and his had trepidation written all over it. And right away, he said he didn't mean it. That it slipped out with the rest of his words.

He moved me off of him and walked around his room looking for his clothes. I watched as he found each article of clothing and put them on hastily, before walking down the stairs to grab his shirt. He came back up a few seconds later, pulling it over his head and running his hand through his hair, as he walked across the room to turn off the music. 

He wouldn't even look at me as he told me to get dressed because we had to go and set the table for his mom, and I had no idea how to take his sudden change of mood. I decided not to say anything because I could sense that he didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't know what to say exactly, and so I did what was asked of me. Got dressed, fixed my hair in the mirror by the stairs and followed him through the house to the kitchen in silence.

I helped him set the table, and every so often he would look at me through his long eye lashes from across the table seeing that I was staring at him, and just as I was about to break the awkward silence, his Mom walked into the house, pleasantly surprised to see we were setting the table for her like she had asked, making me unable to say anything to him.

I helped his Mom dish up the dinner when it was time to eat as Harry sat on the other side of the island watching us. I was happy to help her and she took a liking to the fact that I wanted to. It was nice to do something with her, even if it was doing something small, hearing how much she appreciated me. It made me feel good. Special even, in the slightest way.

Harry and I were both quiet with each other through dinner. We talked to his parents normally as if something weird hadn't happened and acted as if things were okay. And they were okay. I think — Or at least I wanted to think that they were. It's what Harry and I were good at. When we were around friends, we were able to act like nothing was going on with us. With his parents, it was the opposite. Acting like we were friends, even though I could tell he didn't even want to look at me. And I had to act like nothing was wrong. Like I was completely happy to be sitting at the table with this loving family. When really, all I wanted, was to be at home, locked inside my room, hiding away from the world, alone. 

I offered to do the dishes afterwards since apparently it was his Mom's turn to do them. I didn't want her to have to do more work than she needed to, and I was happy to do them for her, in thanks for letting me to stay at her house.

And I wasn't really quite sure how I felt when Harry said he was going to go to Maddy's party, not even asking if I wanted to go with him, and left before I was even done the dishes and didn't bother to say goodbye to me. Anne didn't seem to mind that he was going out, as she had assumed he would be anyways, leaving us to have what she called a girl's night, which she seemed overly excited to have with me.

And now I'm sitting on one of the most comfortable couches I have ever sat on, watching PS: I Love You with Anne, really just wishing she had picked a different movie. Any other movie would suffice right now. Because the last thing I want to think about is love. Or really in my case, the lack there of.

I'm trying to decide how I feel about his words as I stare at the screen, not really watching it. He had said he loved me and then took it back. He didn't mean it. It slipped out of his mouth. And I can understand that he may have thought I'd have some crazy come back about how he can't feel that way about me and possibly start another fight, and maybe that's why he decided the silent treatment was the better way around this.