Kill All Your Friends (Frerard)

Disenchanted

Frank woke up the next morning feeling strangely relieved. There was a weight off of his shoulders and he couldn't tell whether or not if from helping Gerard or crying about his dad. Maybe both. Either way, he slightly felt like a new person.

His walk to school was decent, the only thing his eyes were missing was the little head of red hair he'd have to run to catch up to.

'I wonder if he's already there.' He asked himself. The rest of the walk, he kept his eyes and ears open. He knew it was odd, but all Frank really wanted to know was if Gerard could possibly smile again. After that, he'd leave because he had too many anger problems and struggles with depression that he was too toxic for the fragile man, he concluded. Frank really wanted to be Gerard's friend, but not if it was going to hurt Gerard's emotional stability. He let out a long, over exaggerated sigh as he entered the school. He still hadn't seen the older male, and it concerned him. Then he thought that maybe he was just late. It happens to everyone, and after what happened yesterday, it was understandable.

"Frank, hey, man. Again, sorry about yesterday, but how did it go?" Frank snapped out of his thoughts and finally saw Ray standing in front of him. But something was different about him today, and it was that he had a black eye and busted lip.

"Ray, what the fuck happened to you? Who did that? Tell me," Frank demanded. Ray looked at him, surprised, and, honestly, Frank was surprised himself. But Ray and Bob were the only real friends left in his life and he couldn't have them hurt whenever Gerard started conversing with them once again.

"Don't worry about it, Frank. The door and I just had a little disagreement," he laughed. Frank didn't believe him, but decided not to say anything more. Ray would tell him if he wanted to, he understood that. "Anyway, back to Gerard. What happened?"

"Well, he went a little hysterical once he saw the picture. Before that, he was saying that I needed to butt out, and that I didn't understand what it felt like," Frank laughed bitterly, "but after he saw the picture, I hugged him. And, to my surprise, he hugged him back. Really tight."

"Wow, he's never hugged anyone but Mikey. You mean something to him, Frank. I know it's a lot of pressure, but don't fuck up. You made the choice to get involved with his life and his troubles. You can't leave him, because he trusts you now," Ray explained to the shorter male. In a way, Frank sighed in relief. He really didn't want to leave, and knowing that he had a couple of people who would kick his ass if he tried to leave Gerard, persuaded him to stay. Especially considering how much bigger both Ray and Bob were compared to Frank, it made him shiver with fear of what they could do to him.

"I won't leave him, Ray. I won't," Frank answered. The determination in his own voice shocked him. It was as if his mind made one decision and his heart made the final one. He was going to stay by Gerard's side until he no longer needed him. Until he could stand on his own feet, and until he told Frank that he was okay and that he could do this on his own.

Ray patted Frank's shoulder, giving him a grateful smile.

"I'll see you around, all right, man?" Ray said as he gave him a wave, walking away.

"Yeah, see you," Frank said, watching him walk away for a moment, before turning the other way and heading to his first class just as the bell rang. The rest of the day, his eyes searched for Gerard and every time the bell rang for the next class period, his heart sank to his feet, making it harder for him to walk. He became sluggish, and he didn't know why.

"I just hope he's okay..." he whispers to himself. He panics by the end of the day when Gerard wasn't even late. He just wasn't there. It made him think that maybe he or his parents pushed him to be like Mikey, and his heart starts pounding in his chest. The tightness in his throat become unbearable and he feels like puking, but he wouldn't. His stomach drops and aches in a twisting pain he hadn't felt since he found his father laying in a pool of his own blood in the tub, gun hanging loosely from his hand.

"No, no, stop it, Frank!" He whispers to himself. He needed to have more faith in Gerard. He wouldn't just up and leave... right? I mean, he wouldn't leave his parents behind, would he? Frank's breathing became harder and heavier.

"One," he takes a deep breath.

"Two," another deep breath.

"Three," another deep breath. His heart rate slows and his breathing goes back to normal.

"I need to have more faith in Gerard," he mumbles to himself. He walks a different path home that day and stops at the park. He tosses his backpack down as he takes a seat on the swing, pushing himself back and forth. He stays like that for a while, staring up at the clouds and watching as they came closer and then got further. Much like Gerard. He was so close and yet so far.

"Frank?" He heard someone say from behind him. He turned and saw the person he'd been dying to see all day.

"Gerard!" He exclaimed as he jumped to him feet.

"I saw you walking this way. I'm, um, sorry I wasn't at school. My parents didn't take the picture well and-" his voice cracked and Frank put him hand on his back and soothed him softly.

"I'm sorry," Gerard said. Frank was confused, but then he realized he was talking to Mikey. Not Frank, so he said nothing in return. They stood there for a few moments with Frank's hand on Gerard's back and just embraced the silence. Suddenly, Gerard turned around to face Frank and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry..." Gerard whispered. "I just need... to feel something, someone. I'm sorry for using you." Frank shook his head.

"You aren't using me. You just need a friend. Everyone does. And I'm going to be yours if I'm not already," he answers. Gerard smiles against Frank's shoulder.

He would never admit this out loud, but he was glad Frank was the one there to hold him.