Kill All Your Friends (Frerard)

Headfirst for Halos

Gerard held Frank for what seemed like days before pulling away.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asked Frank quietly. He looked at Frank and realized he was asleep. He sighed, trying to hold back a smile he felt creeping its way onto his face. He noted how peaceful the younger boy looked. Most of the time, he realized, he looked sort of tired. Despite the smiles and laughs, he always looked a little tired. Gerard looked over at the clock on Frank's bedside table and saw it was already four in the afternoon, noting that he should probably take his leave. He made a move to get up, but Frank groaned causing him to pause his movement and look back at him. Frank's eyes were open and they held a bit more life to them, and he was relieved.

"Hey, Gerard?" Frank asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. You didn't have to come here and check on me, but you did. So, thank you," He said smiling up at Gerard. The older male felt his cheeks heating up. The praise, he wasn't used to it.

"I finished the books," Gerard responded, changing the subject. Frank's eyes lit up.

"How did you like them?" He asked excitedly.

"Well, you were completely right. The second one was almost as good as the first. The third was hard to get into, but, like, once you did, it was as good as the first one. I like Ridley's character more than Lena's, honestly, because she doesn't like to make everything in her life seem like she's perfect. And, well, yeah, while it's almost constantly mentioned that Lena's is the same way, she doesn't seem like it. For example, she was always worried about going Dark, but then gave up on trying before her birthday came around, putting off something that could save her from her psycho mother in order to be normal. Ridley accepted the fact that she was Dark, but still somehow managed to be the "Good Bad Girl". But Macon is my favorite character, honestly. He's pretty badass."

"I think Macon is awesome, but, like, Amma and Ethan's mom are pretty beast!" Frank exclaims. Gerard nods thoughtfully.

"Okay. Let's switch to movies. Favorite movie. Go." Gerard thought for a moment.

"That's tough. I may have to go with a Clockwork Orange. The acting is brilliant. What about you?" He asked Frank.

"Okay. I have two that are my number ones. I can't choose between them. Mine are Grizzly Man and the Wizard of Oz," Frank admitted. Gerard laughed.

"Those are two completely different movies. I mean, Grizzly Man is a documentary! It's a good one though.

"I think that's one of my favorites because of this one certain scene that I find beautiful."

"Is it whenever he's walking along the stream with his two bear friends?" Gerard asked.

"Yes! I think that scene tells a lot!" Frank exclaimed. For the remainder of the day and well into the evening, they talked of movies and books.

"Frank, baby? They heard a soft voice ask. They turned and saw his mother standing in the doorway. She was smiling at him, but Frank could tell she was worried more than anything. He gave her a smile.

"I'm okay, mama. Stop worrying. You'll worry my sister before she's even met me," he laughed. His mother chuckled.

"All right. Dinner will be ready soon, boys," she said as she turned and walked away.

"I should probably get going," Gerard said. Frank gave him a shocked look.

"You're going to let all my mother's cooking go to waste?" He gasped. "The nerve!" he said as he stood up. Gerard looked up at him, suddenly terrified that he offended him. Frank ran out of his room.

"Mother! Mother!" He heard Frank yell, causing him to jump to his feet. There was a moment of silence before his mother spoke. Downstairs, Frank was whispering his plan to his mom, who, thankfully, had a great sense of humor.

"What is it, Frank?" She asked loudly.

"Gerard is going to leave! Which means all of this glorious food that you've worked so hard to prepare for all of us will never see the inside of a stomach!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up to get more into character.

"Oh, my, how terrible! All of this poor food!" His mother playfully sobbed, rather well, too. In absolutely no time at all, footsteps were heard rushing to them. Gerard appeared in the kitchen, causing them both to laugh.

"Oh, fine. I'll stay if it means so much to you," Gerard joked. It sounded stale coming from his mouth. In the past two weeks, Frank had changed his view on his guilt, gained someone by his side, and possibly a family. This boy, Gerard thought, is someone you meet once in a lifetime. He looked up past the ceiling and smiled.

Thanks, Mikey.

"Oh, it means the world!" Linda exclaimed, embracing the boy tightly. He hugged her back, not even minding the feel of her swollen tummy against him. A new life.

Gerard, Frank, John, and Linda all ate dinner together and had a pretty good time. Gerard watched as the family bonded in levels he could never reach with his own family, causing a moment of sadness to hit him. This didn't go unnoticed by Frank who grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed lightly. Gerard smiled, once again grateful of his new bond.

"I'll walk you home tonight," Frank said as they were all cleaning up after dinner.

"Take the care, sweetie," his mom suggested. Frank looked shocked.

"But I don't have a license yet," he said.

"Come on, Frank. Live a little," she laughed. In that moment, both Frank and Gerard thought she was the coolest mother ever.

"Thanks, mom! See you guys later. Let's go, Gerard!" Frank yelled as he grabbed him and practically pulled him out of the door. Buckling up in the car, Frank turned to him with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What?" Gerard asked.

"Where do you feel like going?"

"Um, your mom said to just drive me home though?" He questioned as he put the key in the ignition, turned on the car, and pulled out of the driveway.

"But she also said to live a little. I know my mom, Gerard," Frank laughs.

"Well, I don't get out much, so... where do you want to go?"

"Hm, well, let's ask the car." The tone in Frank's voice turned bittersweet and he became silent after that. Gerard decided to not ask him about it, because, if he knew learned anything about the boy at all, it was that he could skillfully avoid the question. After driving for about half an hour down a dirt road Gerard didn't recognize, they came to a stop in front of a cliff blocked off by one of those metal bridge blockers. Behind the bridge was mountains and a green field expanding and running for miles. The full moon in the sky lit up the lake held near in the distance.

"Where are we?" Gerard asked as he followed Frank out of the car. Frank held a content look on his face as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, loving the feel of fresh air entering his lungs.

"Look at freedom," Frank whispered into the wind blowing softly at them. Gerard stared at him for a moment and he thought he saw a glow around him, but maybe it was just his imagination.

"Do you ever just want to get up and go?" Just drop everything and leave everyone behind?"

"All the time," Gerard answered quietly. This was something he and Mikey talked about often. They never thought twice about leaving their parents, because they always only had each other. But Frank had his mother, John, and a sister on the way. He couldn't see why Frank wanted to leave, but then he remembered: Frank's entire past, mainly consisting of his father's suicide and the years that followed, was here. Everything was a constant reminder of his dad.

"I ought to do that one day, you know," Frank said, more to himself than Gerard. They stood there in silence before Frank ran back to the car and turned the radio on. He turned the volume up as Your Love by the Outfield came on.

"Fuck yes!" Frank yelled, causing Gerard to smile. "Josie's on a vacation far away, come around and talk it over!" He sang as he kind of hopped his way over to Gerard, who was currently trying not to laugh.

"So many things that I wanna say! You know I like my girls a little bit older!" Frank continued to sing. Then came a moment when Gerard became happy once more. A feeling he hadn't fully felt in a while, only small bursts every now and then, but this time it was there and it spread all across his body. Once Frank came into his life, it took him about a week to make this feeling come back to him. He was now definitely sure that Mikey had sent him. It made him miss his brother all the more, but he was also thankful of Mikey still watching over him in the afterlife.

After some persuasion done by Frank, Gerard started singing with the younger male as the moon lit up both of their eyes. When they were both beginning to get tired, Gerard watched as Frank said goodbye to what he called freedom turning the car around. He also found himself longing to go back as Frank was driving away.

"I'd like to visit this place once more sometime," he quietly told Frank. He watched as Frank smiled brightly, still looking ahead at the road.

"We'll come back. I come here often. That spot was also my dad's freedom, but he gave up before he made it past that cliff," he explained. "One day, I'm going to pass that cliff and I may never come back," he said softly, opening himself up. Gerard felt honored having Frank share something so personal.

"I hope you make it," Gerard said as he stared at the dirt road in front of them.

"I hope you do, too, Gerard."