My Lost Hero (Angels of War Series #1) REWRITING 2024

Chapter Twenty

I wasn't sure how I pulled enough courage out of my waning soul to take myself to work the next morning. My first day went well considering the circumstances, but my mind was elsewhere, overthinking everything possible. The scene I woke up to did not help matters, and I tried my best to rationalise it in my head. Just because I thought I saw something, does not mean that it happened, right?

When I peeled my crusty eyes open after a terrible night's sleep, I had a few blissful moments where my brain didn't remember the pain. It was wonderful, but it didn't take long for the harrowing sensations to hit me hard enough to suck the air from my lungs and force me up and out of bed. My feet shuffled across the carpet to my bedroom door, where I opened it with a shaking hand to bump straight into Tulia as she walked right out of Joshua's bedroom.

It was a bit of a challenge to get my body moving at first, and when my eyes set sight on Joshua's bed, I wished I hadn't moved at all. Sound asleep, his face pressed into the pillows, he lay with the bedsheets rumpled next to him. White fiery rage went through me. Along with the lonely feelings of betrayal. Deception won out as I let myself study every bit of the scene in front of me, wondering the worst things.

It didn't look good, and my mind was overthinking in every direction possible.

Tulia turned her head slowly to look at me, her eyes picking up on my panic. "Morning, sweetheart."

Don't patronise me, sweetheart, I thought, brushing by her to head for the bathroom.

Finding it near impossible to catch my breath when I got inside there, my legs collapsed from underneath me as I rolled over to rest on my side, letting my arms rest on my bent knees. How could he do that to me? Just let a woman inside his safe space?

I spent way too long thinking about this before gathering myself up to climb into the shower cubicle. The warm water soothed me as much as it could do when I tipped my face back to submerge it. I held my breath and listened to the pitter-patter of the water hitting the basin.

The pleasant stream of water rained all over my face as I let the tears come again. My eyes were puffy and felt sore, but the tears weren't stopping just yet, even when I reached up my hands to rub at them. It didn't work, only seeming to irritate them more.

This entire house held memories of Megan, her belongings everywhere you turned, and it was absolute agony. I kicked at her shampoo bottles neatly stacked on the edge and ripped her body puff from its place hanging on the wall. I needed to get out of here.

Barely cleaning myself, I got out of the shower to dry and dress in the clothes I picked out this morning. I paired my cream, high-waisted wool maxi skirt with a lilac silk blouse that made the whole outfit look like a one-piece.

I didn't bother to do anything with my hair apart from staring at myself in the mirror for a long time as I blow dried it and pinned it into a low bun. Makeup was a no-go considering I did not understand, nor could I predict the emotions that would take over me.

I told myself not to look in his bedroom door when I resurfaced from getting ready. That it would only upset me again to have to see those sheets and them together, but that became impossible when I heard him whimper. I spotted him sitting up in his bed, and the relief of not finding Tulia next to him shocked me.

I turned my head to the side once I got a sneaky look at him when passing his room, digging around in my handbag for nothing in particular. I heard his mattress ache under his weight and then his bare feet padding across the floor. I heard his quiet sniffles and bit the side of my mouth, knowing that if I looked up, I would be a blubbering mess.

Using the strap on my heels as an excuse, I fiddled with the clasp, hoping he would go back to his room and leave me alone.

No such luck when he cleared his throat and croaked, "Tabby, why are you dressed?"