Back To School (Drarry Fanfic)

Chosen For Nothing

Narrator's POV

It has been nearly a week. Everyone returned to their normal schedule and Hermione has been relentlessly helping Harry and Draco catch up on everything they fell behind on. Multiple classes excused them from the work, however, a few decided it was mandatory and expected it done within the month. 

It felt wonderful for Harry, knowing Draco was okay. He tended to fall in and out of his depressive states, usually approaching more during classes whenever he felt useless because he can't understand everything perfectly. He began working very hard on learning as it seems important since his dramatic event of the year has passed for now. He hoped the rest of his year will be peaceful, he'd like to take a step-down.

As Harry lay in bed reminiscing over the last week since the trial he couldn't help but feel the itch around his thighs. He is used to this feeling. He always thought it was caused by unhealed cuts but recently discovered the itch feels like it is under the skin. The only way to solve it seems to be to tear the skin open. Harry sighs lightly knowing it is an impossible thing to resist but wanting to have the strength this one time. He glances over at Draco  laying in bed, passed out. His restful face brings a grin to Harry's and he forgets his previous thoughts. 

Slowly, he turns away and they are back. They seemed to have rushed at him much faster than before and nearly take his breath away. He stands, walking towards the dorm bathroom intending to splash water on his face. Harry glanced at the alarm clock between their beds, it reads 1:57 am. He rubs his face walking to the bathroom, each step feeling heavy. Knowing he will regret this later and knowing it will help his heart beat slow. Knowing it will make him think more clearly, knowing that he will be able to look at Draco without thinking about kissing him, all he has to do is train himself to associate those thoughts with pain. 

He is standing in front of the mirror. He stares into his eyes and can't help but feel disgusted. 'Hero, Warrior, Chosen one, Saviour, Golden Boy.' The words run through his head at a fast pace as he sees how none of them are true. The only thing he was chosen for was a life of misery. All of this was consequential, he didn't want to be a hero. 

Harry Potter; The Average Wizard. To anyone else that would seem boring. To Harry, it was the title he valued. He wished every 11:11 and on every falling star for that one title. Pathetic isn't it? Who wishes to be normal, other than Harry Bloody Potter. Harry slams his hands on the sink as a tear drips down his cheek. 

He grabs the mirrored bathroom cabinet door, swinging it open, as it emits a squeaking noise. He picks up the muggle medicine used to cure pain, known as Aspirin. As he lifts it, a razor blade is exposed, taped to the bottom of the bulky bottle. He slides his finger beneath the tape, careful not to rip it at he doesn't have more and spells are too easily detected. 

He removes the blade and silently sets the bottle on the sink. He turns towards the door, closing it and spelling it locked. He starts up the bath to make it seem as if he is doing something, in the case Draco wakes up. He sits on the edge of the bathtub, in only boxers. He looks at his past scars covering his legs and can't help but cringe slightly. He runs his fingers over the newest which are already nearly healed. 

He places the blade nearly mid-thigh, as the rest is already covered. He slides it across with barely any precious and breathes in through his teeth. He then brings it directly below that and continues on this path. It started with only about five on each thigh and then evolved. His best guess was 20 on each thigh, each deeper than the last. The last he did was the worst he had ever done but he knew it would be fine as if it bled too deeply he'd heal it. 

He returned the blade to its hiding place, blood dripping down his legs, he pulled down his boxers and cursed as the blood got on them. He shook his head furious at himself for not learning to remove them first to avoid this. He climbed into the warm bath water. 

He hissed as the water attacked the new marks, biting onto his lip. 

Draco's POV

I woke to the alarm clock at 7 in the morning. I yawned loudly looking towards Harry's bed seeing him still blissfully asleep. I smile and stand up, turning off the alarm and walking to the bathroom. I quickly shower and dress, leaving my hair ungelled as a particularly cute boy stated they liked it better that way. 

I walk back to the dorm and smile seeing Harry finally awake. He yawns and looks at me drowsily. He grabs his towel from directly next to his bed and wraps it around himself before standing up. I caught a glimpse of his boxers and assumed he did this out of insecurity rather than necessity, as Harry has seen me walk around in only boxers on multiple occasions. 

I frown slightly at the thought and sit down on my bed.

Over the course of the next hour, we head to breakfast together. Harry seems genuinely happier than he has in the past few days and I can't explain why. He smiles more and when he isn't smiling he seems to be thinking. Everything about him seems more joyful.

Actually, no. Not more joyful. More forced. His smiles are fake. You can tell because they don't quite light up his eyes as normal. When he is thinking he looks on the verge of tears. He seems happy, but not the right kind. He should be the giggly, goofy Harry if he is Happy, but he isn't. He is agreeable and avoiding any form of confrontation and brushing everything off as if it doesn't bother him. That isn't Hary. 

But why?

A/N BOIIIII, I FEEL LIKE THIS CHAPTER IS KINDA DECENT SIZED (for wattpad at least...) AND LIKE IT MAY BE SLIGHTLY DECENT IN GENERAL. I HAVE LOVED EVERYONE'S SUPPORT ON THIS BOOK AND PLEASE ALWAYS KNOW IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING, I AM HERE. LITERALLY, ANYTHING, RANGING FROM YOUR FAVORITE SHIRT IS LOST TO YOU LOST SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU! 

Enough shouting. Time for some life updates!!!!

-My girlfriend and I broke up (and have been for over a month.)

-added to that ^, we are friends and there is no bad blood

-I have a boyfriend (boy do I sound slutty. I promise I'm not. It just was how it happened)

-his name is matt and is really cute and smart and he writes poetry and draws and I love him, k

-we started dating 8/7/16 

-did I mention matt? bc matt is great

-in addition to my mini figure of Draco, I now have Luna!

-We have a new cat and we thought it was a girl so we were gonna name it luna but it is a boy so it is named lucas and he is so cute, if you want pics you should totally tell me and ill take pics of him for next chapter

-this story is probably going to end soon but I have an idea of what I want to write next 

-my depression meds haven't really been working hahaha -i plan to talk to my mom soon, just a heads up, if you were wondering why there was a long break-

-I WATCHED STRANGER THINGS AND OMG BEAUTY WATCH IT NOW

-my friends and I are planning a harry potter movie marathon and im gonna annoy them by pointing out the differences between the books and movies :)

-my online schooling is going pretty good

OKAY THAT IS ALL FOR NOW FOLKS  ~Love Aly

ps: i am aware how annoying that author's note is, but I don't know how else to express any of it so sorry

pps: I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE CHAPTER TITLE BEFORE UPLOADING SORRY, IM CHANGING IT