Mr.Ackerman

ch. 3 *edited*

I was walking down the hall on the last floor. I was still looking for Pixis. I was about to give up because I didn't want to deal with people's shit, but I heard a male yelling.

I turned around to find Pixis yelling at Sasha, but she didn't seem to care. Instead, she was eating-which not allowed- with Connie by her side.

"Where is Levi!" He yelled. I decided it was time for me to step in and kick him out if this building. And if I had to, I'd kick his ass.

"I'm over here," I said with a bored expression. Pixis turned to look at me. He had a chaotic smile plastered on his face. I was rolling my eyes in response to his "scary" look.

"Levi! Oh, how good it is to see you!" He spoke while walking towards me. I didn't respond to his fake kindness, I already have dealt with enough if that in my life. "Pixis, you need to leave this building now." He suddenly laughed. I started to walk over to him, not angrily. More irritated.

"Oh, Levi. Do you know why I'm here?" He spoke calmly.

"In not giving your job back. Now leave my building." Everyone on the first floor was somewhere hiding or standing out in the open staring at us with a curious expression. I continued to be bored but kept my usual, daily glare on my face.

"Levi! Give me my job back!" Pixis started to yell furiously at me. I raised an eyebrow at him. Pixis's face was red and angry. I smirked at his furiousness. I began to speak. "You need to leave. Or I'll call security. Maybe I'll even put you out myself." I lifted my arms and crossed them over my chest. I still had my eyebrow raised.

My mouth was shut and put in a straight line across my face; this was an easy thing to do since I always had a glare. I could keep my face in this position for hours without moving it.

"I'm not leaving." Pixis challenged. I rolled my eyes in response. "Sasha, call security before I do something." I looked away from Pixis to see Sasha. She was talking with Connie, but as soon as she heard my order, she jumped. "Y-Yes, sir!" She grabbed the phone and called for security. "You're pathetic Levi, calling security... Pff! What are you going to do after this? Go call your mommy and cry to her because I've now offended you?" What pixis had is insane smile again. And I winced after his one sentence. 'What are you gonna do after this? Go call you're mommy and cry because I've now offended you?" I heard gasps from people who know my past. I looked at Pixis, trying to show that he hasn't affected me. It worked till the security came and dragged him out.

I didn't say anything more after that happened. Petra and Hanji came running to me; they were the only ones on this floor who knew about my past. They kept asking if I was okay. All I did was nod and sigh. Though, I was not okay.

I turned away from all the looks everyone gave me and walked to the elevator. I pressed floor 11 and waited for the doors to close and bring me there.

I had the elevator alone, and I was thankful for that. I was too upset to look or even talk to anyone. I wouldn't release my emotions until I reached my office. There I could be alone, and nobody would bother me. The phone would bother me though, anyone who calls at least.

The doors opened, which meant I reached floor 11. I hurried to my office and slammed the door.

I locked it as well.

I looked at my chair and went to sit on it. I noticed I had an email.

Hello Levi.

I have heard what happened. I know you must be upset right now, and I'm sorry I'm not there to help you out. I am not supposed to be contacting anyone at the moment, but after I heard what Pixis told you...I just needed to.

I'm very sorry he had said that. He doesn't know what happened so, please don't be hard on yourself. Stay calm.

-Erwin Smith

I sighed after reading it. I exited out of my email and sat there staring at my wall for a while.

How was I supposed to stay calm?

I can't.

I wouldn't break my promise this soon would I?

Possibly...

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get rid of that thought. I couldn't harm myself quite yet...right?

It has been years since I saw my parents dead on my floor. How can it still affect me like this? I've been so cold inside, how is this making it do the opposite of what I want.

I don't want to feel! I don't want to feel anything!

I reached for my desk and pulled it open. I saw that I still had my blade in here. I slowly went to grab it while my hands trembled. I kept telling myself not to break my promise. But I couldn't help it.

My fingers finally touched the cold blade. I pinched hold of it and lifted it out of my desk and rolled my sleeve up. I held the edge up to my skin but didn't do anything quite yet. Tons of thoughts swarmed around my head.

Don't break your promise.

Mom! Dad!

Daddy's coming home from war! We need to clean the house up!

I love you, Levi.

What are you going to do after this? Call you're mommy and cry because I've now offended you?

Your mom is dead, get over it.

You're pathetic.

Worthless.

Cry, baby.

They are dead!

I'm sorry.

Mom! Dad! You can't be dead!

It was all racing through my head and overwhelming me. I finally took the blade and slid it hard into my skin.

I felt the place I cut burning. It sent relief through my whole body, making me want to do it more. I felt the blood ooze from the cut and drip down on my arm, hitting my pants.

My eyes started to water up from the pain it was bringing me. I decided to do it again.

I slid the blade once more into my skin making it rip apart and bleed. Each time I made a new cut I felt as if I were on fire.

My blood was very dark. And there was a lot of it dripping all over my arm and onto my pants.

At this moment I was glad I wore a sweatshirt and black jeans. I cut my one arm six times. Six times I felt the burning sensation rip apart my skin.

I held the - now bloody - blade in the air. I can't believe I broke my promise. I let the tears flood down my face. Making my vision blurry. I grabbed a cloth I held the blade in and wiped it on my arm. I tried to stop it from bleeding but it wouldn't.

It finally stopped after five minutes. I stopped crying way before that. I had no expression on my face. I was bored, and I felt freezing inside. Empty.

All those thoughts that swarmed through my head wouldn't leave.

They haunted me for the rest of my day.

I didn't get any more calls that day surprisingly. I mostly sat there and worked on my paperwork. I also made sure things were ready for Eren tomorrow.

It was time to go eventually. I had worked overtime and was the last one in the building. I left my office and went home.

When I got home I didn't bother to eat; I felt it was too late for that. Instead, I stripped until I wore nothing but my boxers and threw myself on my bed. My cat was sleeping on the couch, and I didn't dare to bother it. I set my alarm and tried to sleep.