Mr.Ackerman

ch.6 *edited*

I didn't bring a lunch, which was normal. Hanji always wanted to get me food. I'd either tell her no, or just ask her to get me something that isn't too sweet, fat, and gross. So she'd just get me salad that had chicken or whatever in it.

Today, she handed me the salad that she'd get me when she didn't pay much attention to me, or when she would be in a bad mood.

I was sure this was because Eren was here and she wanted to talk to him. To hog him up.

I slowly ate the disgusting salad and stared at Eren. Once in a while, he'd see me looking at him, and I'd glare. He'd then quickly look away.

I stopped eating the salad because it gave me a stomach ache. That was because I haven't eaten in days, so now that I've consumed something, I feel sick.

I wanted to talk to Eren. But if I do..it would turn out bad.

I sighed and left the room. Hanji looked at me, and I glared so hard that she winced.

Why can't people pay attention to me?

I wondered that a million times a day.

I didn't want the attention, but it would be nice to gain everyone's attention.

Maybe he's more interesting than you.

I walked to the men's bathroom and sat in my stall. Yes, a private stall.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Just die.
Go away.
Kill yourself.

You're a baby.
Attention whore.
Suicidal boy.

Attention hog.
Bad worker.
Useless.

I couldn't stop thinking about the things people would tell me.

I didn't want to think. I didn't want to be awake right now.

Eren.

I snapped my eyes open. Did I fall asleep?

I sat up and walked out of the stall. I never even went to the bathroom.

How long was I there?

I hoped I wasn't in there for a while. That would be embarrassing.

I hurried back to lunch office type thing. Everyone was still there. Eren looked at me with a worried look, along with Petra and Hanji.

I walked to the counter and got water. I saw the reflection of the microwave that my hair was a mess and my eyes were red. Had I been crying?

I sighed and dumped the water down the drain. I didn't bother to drink it.

I walked back to my seat and sat down. Eren continued to look at me.

My food only had three bites taken from it. I hadn't eaten in days. I haven't drunk water in who knows what. I've just drunk alcohol.

Vodka to be specific. Or Whiskey.

I put my head in my hands and rubbed my eyes again. I sat like that for awhile till I felt someone tap my shoulder.

It was Eren.

My heart started to beat fast, and I got dizzy.
I didn't know why, but Eren made me get that way.

"Eat this." Eren handed me a peanut butter and jelly sand which.

He then whispered in my ear.

"I know when someone is starting to be anorexic." He began. "Come with me now. I'll help you." I pushed my eyebrows together.

I guess he's the first person to find out about my eating disorder.

I got up and grabbed the sandwich Eren threw at me and walked out the door. Eren was right behind me.

I was starting to get dizzy again, and I felt like I was going fall.

I stood there and waited for Eren to tell me where to go.

"Go to the bathroom." I walked into there and waited. When Eren showed up, I walked to my stall. He followed behind me.

"Okay. Now what." I said sickly. "You're going to eat all of this." He began. "You'll probably throw up, but that's okay." He gave me a small smile.

I sighed and opened the ziplock bag with the sandwich in it.

I picked it up and chewed on it for awhile. It for mushy enough for me to swallow.

I ate a few small bites till I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. My throat started to burn too.

I lifted my toilet seat and started puking. My throat burned so much I felt like it would set on fire.

Eren rubbed my back as I continued to puke.

"Keep trying. I'll help you with this every day till you eat again."

I sighed and continued to eat.

~~
After the eating in the bathroom thing was over, Eren and I went back to his office and began to work. Nobody called so I decided to bring him back to my room.

"Usually we are busy," I told him as I sat down at my desk. Eren sat in front of me.

"That's fine. We have tomorrow." He was right. Surprisingly, the day was almost over. Petra and Hanji's shift was over. A lot of people were going home at this time.

It was very dark out. So I knew it was late.

I looked at the time, and it was 10:00 pm. I sighed. Today has been too long.

"I'll stay till you leave." Eren suddenly said.

"Why? You should just go home, brat." Eren smiled

"Cause, I don't want to leave you alone." He looked at me with a serious look.

"Why? I'm better off alone." I didn't know why, but I felt like telling him things. But I knew I couldn't. I had to stick by my words!

"No. Nobody is better off alone. You seem like your alone too much." I looked at Eren and glared. He didn't show anything towards it though

"I have my cat," I spoke sheepishly. I realized Eren was chuckling.

"Look, I know how you feel. I've been alone too. I've felt like I didn't belong. But from what Hanji and Petra even Armin, all tell me, that you're amazing, that you're a good worker. They've told me you don't deserve to be alone. And I agree. You don't have to be alone."

I made my typical tch sound.

"Look, you don't need to want me here. You don't have to want me here. But I'll stay here. No matter what."

I looked at him. I suddenly wanted him just to hug me.

I reached into my drawer and grabbed my Whiskey.

I opened the bottle and started chugging it. Eren looked at me with wide eyes.

"wahoo," I said with fake enthusiasm. I then took a few more drinks and stared at Eren.