In Seven Months (#2) [NOT EDITED]

Chapter 23 - Divorce Papers

[NOT EDITED]

Katherine's POV

I am angry. No , i am fuming.

Not at him. But at myself.

What did i do ? Oh god , why i said that ?

Why my big mouth had to say those words to him ?

The look in his eyes when i said them is hunting me. Whenever i close my eyes it's the only thing i see.

I should've not went that far. I should've not crossed that line.

I didn't mean them , I didn't mean a single word , but the fury and rage burned within me at that moment making me want to hurt him , to make him feel the pain i was feeling.

But that was wrong , i hurt him more. What i said hurt him more than his lies did to me.

It is his weakness and i used it against him.

I knew somewhere on the way i would lose you.

His voice , his expression , the look in his eyes as he muttered that sentence, it's .. It's tearing me apart , it's ripping my inside, because even if i wanted to deny it , even if i wanted to say it is a lie .. it will still true.

Because he will , he will lose me.

Three months from now , he will.

My hand involuntary went toward my baby bump as more tears scrolled down my cheek.

Him being away for only one week killed me , so will i be able to spend three months without him ?

I don't think i can.

I don't want to. I said i want a divorce but it came out because of anger. All my words came out because of anger.

But what if he really meant what he said at the end before he left , what if he really did send the divorce papers.

No , I can't, I won't sign them.

I will apologize, i will listen to him, maybe there is really an explanation behind his lies.

I mean this is Ashton , he won't cheat on me. He loves me , i know , i am sure he loves me.

Maybe there is an explanation. But i am so stupid because I didn't even give him a chance to explain.

My gaze traveled to Ashton's side of the bed. I miss him laying here beside me, i miss looking at him as he falls asleep, i miss playing with his soft hair and just being in his embrace, i really miss the warmth it used to give me.

I simply just miss him , and miss us.

I think sometimes we can be homesick for people not just for places.

After what happened yesterday , he left , and till today's night he hadn't called or even came back.

I don't know where he is or what he is doing. I am afraid he is really working on the divorce papers , i am afraid to wake up tomorrow and find them in my mail.