Drowning In River (BoyXBoy)

17: For Now

Silence is crisp in the air as we walk into the building. All eyes on me. Looks of disgust digging into my flesh, and it burns. I follow River through the crowd and we head for my locker. I can see the red print even from the distance, and as we move closer the word faggot lays prominent against the dark blue coloring of the metal door.

I hear snickers behind me, but it's all instantly drowned out by the familiar ringing in my ears. Every part of my internal being is screaming. My hands begin to shake. The tears burn against my eye lids. I feel the burning sensation crawling up my spine, and I can feel the ice in my stomach. I stare at the red letters for a millennium, searching for the vague blur that tells me this is dream, but it's not there, and this is not a dream. This is real. They know.

"Come on." I hear River say behind me. His fingers linger on my shoulder, but it's warmth from last night turns into an incredible ache. Everything aches. My chest. My head. My arms. My legs.  All of it. I'm just waiting for the anxiety to pull me under.

But it doesn't.

Instead, I begin to feel my blood boil. I jerk my shoulder from River's grasp and spin around to face the student body. The twisted grins that lie on the faces of the obvious perpetrators flares the anger inside me. I grit my teeth. My  fists curling and uncurling ever so slowly. I drag my feet forward until I'm standing in front of Jakob and Holly.

"You twisted son of a bitch." I hiss before pushing myself against Jakob's chest. He simply chuckles.

"Sorry sweetheart, but I don't swing that way. Faggot." He says with a spark exploding in eyes. A warning. A warning to say not to bring up what happened at the party.

There is no need.

I push him, and his back slams against the lockers behind him. Anger replaces his smirk, and my heart is beating rapidly. Not fear, adrenaline. Complete and total adrenaline.

"Carter..." I hear the warning in River's voice from behind me, but the ringing in my ears over powers it. I close my eyes, the blood boiling in my veins, then all hell breaks loose.

The entire football team surrounds me, hissing and spitting venom at me like the snakes they are. They move in closer. There is no way out. One of them grab onto the back of my shirt, pulling me back before clasping onto my arms to restrain me. Jakob slithers over and tilts his head to the side as a malicious grin consumes his feature. I growl at him, stammering a little, eye to eye with the gigantic quarterback. A snake to a mouse. My demise.

I hear River grunting from somewhere around me, and I hear the struggle in his vocal chords. He can't save me. He's held back as well. There is no way for this to end well.

I stop struggling and glare into Jakob's eyes, tilting my head to the side and pouting like a puppy. Confusion replaces his grin, and I feel the grip on my arms loosen. I rip my arms away and allow a wide grin to grow from the pout just before I connect my fist with his lower stomach. He hunches over and groans. Pride fills my system. Then I'm restrained again.

Jakob straightens up, jaw clenched, teeth gritting. "You little bitch." Then he repeats the same violence I used on him. I cough as the air is knocked out of me. I don't even get a chance to regain it before he repeats the move again and again and again.

The bell rings, and I'm left on the floor.

I breathe as shallowly and slowly as possible to encrypt the pain as much as I can. I feel the tears stinging at the corner of my eyes, and I decide to curl up on the floor, huddled into myself, and completely forgetting about River.

"Carter! Are you okay? Come here." He lays down next to me on the dirty hallway floor and just holds me. I cry into his chest, and he rubs my back, kissing my head every few moments and whispering sweet-nothing's into the suffocating air surrounding me. His fingertips caress my spine, and his warm breath blows against my hair. "Shhh." He says. "Shh. It'll be okay baby. I'll never let them touch you again. I promise. Shh." He rocks me, and I cry and cry. My secret is out. Everyone knows. My comfortable closet is eons away now and I will never get back into it.

I need to decide, be proud or be cowardly. As of now though, I breathed in the sent of coffee, cigarettes, and the sweet smell of cologne. I cry into his chest and grip his shirt, allowing for the first time in my life to let the fear consume me. The anxiety dulls as his voice comes out like a lullaby. My tears cease, and my entire body grows numb. My grip on his shirt relaxes, and my eyes drowse closed. My eyelashes brush against my damp cheeks, and I sleep. I sleep in River's arms on the hallway floor. For now, I am safe. I will have to wake up eventually, but for now, his arms shield me. I am okay. For now.

I just wish I could make now last longer.

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FALL BREAK!!! YAY!!! I'm sick, and on my period. Boooo... Never eat bad peanut butter you guys. Even if it looks okay, always check the date. Worst of all, my boyfriend is gone to his Uncle's for the ENTIRE BREAK!!! Im gonna be so lonely with out my babe. Eh, oh well. I'm to tired, sick, and moody to care. But since I shall have no distractions, and I am currently to sick to leave my bed, I am going to TRY to write as much as I can over break. Vote, comment, and tell me what you think. LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!