Drowning In River (BoyXBoy)

22: The River Inside Me

The next morning, I got up and got ready for school. I haven't done this in what seems like forever, but River convinced me to try and follow my normal routine without her. He'd pick me up from now on, driving me to and from school. I took a shower, washing the filth from my hair and the rest of my body. It seemed abnormally normal. My body oblivious and calm, but my mind knowing everything had changed. My heart and brain seemed to playing tug-of-war with my sanity and I was just waiting for it to snap. But it didn't happen. I finished my shower and just stood there in all my bony naked glory and stared in the mirror trying not to wonder how many times she stared at herself, naked, in front of a mirror. This led to the aching feeling, followed by me sliding down the wall and staring off into oblivion.

I'm not sure how long I just sat there, but when I landed back on earth after my adventure through all of space and all of time River was in front of me with this extremely worried look on his face. At first I thought he was a figment of my imagination. That'd I'd finally snapped and insanity had infiltrated my being, but then he touched my cheek and wind exploded back in my lungs and that blurred line of reality and imagination sharpened. I also realized I was still naked.

"Holy shit!" I grab a towel and wrap it around my waist so fast I'm sure I gave us both whiplash. "What time is it?" I'm frantically trying to comb my hair and brush my teeth at the same time, and River catches my hand before I wind up with toothpaste in my hair.

"Baby, chill. Look at me." I tried to resist, but his fingers grazed my jaw. My eyes met his, those electric blue orbs baring into my soul and holding my heart together. He took the toothbrush and comb from my hands, massaging my thumb with his. I couldn't help the calmness that seemed to snake down my spine, into every nerve of my body until I could barely stand. I fell into him, laying my head on his shoulder, feeling his lips graze my collar bone. "I'm here." He whispers, and I don't know why but those words surrounded me with both fear and security. He is here. Right here in front of me with his arm wrapped around my torso with a particular tightness that allowed me to inhale the same air he exhaled, and for a moment I could feel all his strength and bravery, all the energy coursing through his veins slither into mine.

For a moment I felt the River within me.

"I should get dressed." I whisper into his shoulder. His finger traced along the lower part of my back and he nodded without letting me go. Is it wrong that I want him right now? Does he want me too? I leaned in closer to him, closing the space between us, and yes, yes he does want me too. Okay then.

Clothes.. I need clothes.

I pull away from him, walking out of my bathroom and to my wardrobe, rummaging through it to find some jeans if anything, but just as I find a pair, his hands are on my hips. His lips are on my neck. His tongue trailing up to my earlobe where his teeth graze the flesh. I shiver, leaning back into him. His fingers caress my skin, my hips, my sides, my stomach. I turn in his embrace, meeting his eyes before I kiss him.

It's gentle at first, but he grows hungrier and more dominant by the second, his tongue asking for intrace, which I grant. Before long it's teeth against teeth, fighting to get to the other's lip. I slide my fingers beneath his shirt, keeping my cold, small hands against the firmness there as moments pass and I feel my back hit the bed. I pull the shirt up over his head, throwing it on the floor, and I swear he growls.

More and more animal like behavior, his chest heaving against mine, my fingers of one hand pulling at his hair as the other reaches lower, shyly. My pulse is hammering, and I can feel his doing the same. Adrenaline coursing through our veins, all of our frustrations, seeping out of our pores until we are drowning in them. Drowning in each other. Rugged heart beats, shattered souls and all, screaming for freedom; trampling one another to get out into the oxygen that is surrounding us because we are suffocating them, holding their heads under fountains, oceans, showing our frustrations how it feels to be personified. Our bodies sinking together as one. Our souls crashing into each other. Our hearts, with so many lost pieces, meeting and fitting together perfectly.

In that moment, I'm not broken anymore. I'm half of a whole. I'm not empty. I'm devoured by all the things I've been trying so hard to ignore as they run with the current. I feel it. I feel every bit of it, and I question how in God's name this feels so good but hurts so bad. I let it though. I let it hurt and allow the pain run it's course in my blood stream until it's gone, and I'm left feeling the love, and clean, beautiful flow of the river inside me.

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Oh my god, I have been trying to make this chapter as perfect as possible, and Why? WE HIT 1K READS. This means so so very much to me, you guys don't even know. I legit cried when I saw it. This novel means the world to me. And hey, on top of everything we hit this milestone during gay pride month! Hell yeah! Any way I really hope you all liked this chapter, I tried to make it a little steamy yet touching all the same. I'm sorry I'm not writing as much as I should. I don't really have an excuse beside I'm always with my boyfriend and he hates when I start writing around him because "he doesn't exist anymore" but whatever. I love you guys and thank you so fucking much for 1k. Let's keep it going. Vote, comment, share tell me what you think! And hey, follow me too. I love you my beautiful extragnet absolutely extraordinary darklings!