Suspended Butterfly

Chapter 5

After breakfast we all hung around the pool for a few hours before the 5sos boys had a surprise acoustic session outside the hotel for the crowd of girls dressed in hipster shorts, ray bans and of course 5sos/One Direction shirts. Whilst at the pool we all messed about from challenging each other to do handstands in the water or races from one side to the other. Every so often I felt someone staring at me as me and Harry were mucking about, just assuming it as his body guards being cautious in case I was going to attack him like a crazed fan.

When the 5sos boys had to go to their meet up I was made to go with them, obviously Luke claimed that I had to go because they needed help to carry chairs and things as well as he wanted me to see their meet up, when really he just wanted to make sure that I couldn’t get up to no good with any of the members of one direction.

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It was 3 in the morning when I had finally given up on trying to go to sleep that I had decided to just go for a wonder about the hotel. It was weird walking through the corridors at this time, it almost seemed forbidden. I ended up at the hotel pool, walking around the edge looking up at the almost perfect clear sky (without falling over), before someone whistling caught my attention.

Harry was sat on a deck chair by the kiddie pool with his back to me, beer in hand, staring up at the stars. The whole scene screamed cliché romantic comedy where the two leads realize that although they pretend to hate each other, secretly they can’t stop imagining the others lips pressed against their own in a heated make out session.

Knowing that it was at least half three in the morning I knew Luke would be asleep and wouldn’t catch me talking to Harry without being supervised. Slowly I walked up behind him, he still unknowing of my presence, “a bit late to be taking a dip?” I whispered when I was close enough, he jumped a little before signing and gesturing to the seat next to him. We sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the quietness.

“Thank you by the way.” He looked at me confused for a second, “For not saying we had already met in front of Luke” he chuckled lightly.

“Hey I was warned!” He drank from his beer again, then handing it to me.

“Yeah, he seems to think that just by talking to a guy I’m automatically going to get pregnant!” I laughed, taking a swig and leaning back.

“Maybe, he’s just protective? I mean I am with Gem, well as much as she lets me”

“Yeah, well there’s protective and there’s being a cock-blocker!” He laughed at that, I smiled up at the sky, “I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve heard ‘no talking to him’, ‘you’re my sister not his play thing’, ‘don’t go playing games with him’. I’ve heard his speech so many times I know it word for word.” I imitated my brother before sighing. “It’s like his speech haunts every move I make, meaning I end up second guessing everything!”

“So what are you saying? Because of Luke you’ve never had a fling or even a boyfriend?” He asked, looking over at me quirking an eyebrow in curiosity.

“No I had the odd high school romance of course, but only the one boyfriend. Obviously behind closed doors away from Luke.” I took a deep breath, his face flashing through my mind. He hummed in response.

“Tell me about him?” he asked returning his gaze to the night sky again.

“Why? It was a year ago and we haven’t exactly seen each other since.”

“I don’t know why? But it’s nice hearing someone else’s problems for once instead of having your own thrown at you by the world outside your own, and the people within your world are so delicate about your feelings that they’re scared to even mention her name.” he breathed out a sigh of relief taking the bottle I was holding out for him and taking a long swig of the alcohol. I watched as his adam’s apple bobbed whilst he swallowed.

“Yeah I heard about her, I’m sorry.” I looked down feeling guilty that our light hearted conversation had suddenly turned to his heart break over his long term girlfriend.

“Don’t be, wasn’t your fault.” He took a deep breath before wiping his eyes and putting on an obvious fake smile. “So tell me about him.”

So I did everything from how we got together to how we ended. Everything about the guy that my whole would was built around, except his name. I couldn’t tell Harry his name then he would know and he couldn’t, NO ONE could know. I promised him.

“So who is he?” Harry asked once I had finished telling him all of our whole relationship.

“That I can’t tell you.” I smiled sadly, I was sure that even if I could tell him, my lips wouldn’t be able to form his name.

“Come on! I’ve never met the guy, how would I tell Luke about him.” I looked down at my hands as realization swept across his face. “He’s one of 5sos? Isn’t he?”

“He left a year ago. How long have the boys been away from home?” I smiled sadly again the dulled pain that had burned through my chest reappeared.

“A year. He left you behind, but he’s one of Luke’s best friends? He would’ve been warned.”

“Yeah, it just happened.” I looked back up at the stars, wiping the single tear away from my cheeks where it fell.

“So who is it? It’s obviously not Luke so that leaves the other three.” I laughed.

“Well done genius! But I’m still not telling you!” I sing-songed, I took a deep breath. “Do you ever wonder what stars are?” his attention turned from me back to the stars, his third beer at his lips. “It’s like they are something magical when we’re children to make wishes on, yet when those wishes stop being for the latest toy or candy and turns into something that matters to the heart, they’re not so magical anymore, just balls of burning gas in space.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t wish at all?”

“Yeah, I guess. You know your wishing on the end of a star’s life? The brightest could have been dead for thousands if not millions of years yet we are only just seeing them. The end of a life but the beginning of a wish.”

“Sounds poetic” he laughed.