Whatever Happened To Normal?

Chapter 30:

It was tough for Daryl to watch Glenn and Maggie take the twins. He was just getting used to them. He was finally understanding why it was a big deal. Now he just feels defeated and frustrated. Leaning in the door way to the living room, he watches Beth sit in her arm chair, simply doing nothing. She almost seems to be thinking about something complex, but Daryl couldn't possibly know what it was. She's different. Before she seemed so young and carefree. Now, huh, now she seems almost insane or paranoid about something. Slowly walking to the couch, Daryl sits and watches her. Fingers thrumming on the arms of the chair and foot slightly tapping, it seems her body can't sit still.

"Beth..." He speaks to her, but her attention is on the ceiling. Sighing, Daryl stands up and steps just in front of her so her eyes land on his. The tapping stops. The thrumming stops. The room is silent and their eyes hold a serious and sad conversation. Almost as if she's asking him to help her. Those deep blue area begin to glisten with tears and Daryl can physically see her heart breaking. Scooping her up in his arms, he can feel how light she is. Granted, she's always been a skinny little thing, but now it feels as though she's not even there. Carrying her upstairs, he goes to her room and lays her in bed. She slides off her shoes and her jeans, leaving her in just her underwear, bra and t-shirt. As he shuts off the light, he pulls his own pants off and his sweatshirt and crawls in bed beside her. "I love you. I love you more than anything in the whole wide world."

He can hear the breath catch in her throats and soon tears hit his chest and she lays her head in it. Comforting her is the only thing he can do. For as long as she needs him, he won't go anywhere ever again.

***

Rolling over, his hand falls to an empty bed and something in his skin just jerks him awake. Sitting up, he looks around, but obviously she isn't there.

"Beth?" Getting out of bed, Daryl grabs his shirt from the floor and checks the bathroom in the hallway. Nothing. Going downstairs, he looks in the living room, kitchen, and other bathroom- but once more. No Beth. "Beth!"

Above him, he hears the floor creak and he goes to the sound. Opening up the nursery,  he finds Beth rocking in the the glider while holding a teddy bear to her chest. Tears glisten down her face and when she sees him, his heart breaks again and again. Slowly shuffling to her, he sits on the foot stool to the glider and places his hands on her knees.

"What's wrong with me?" Her broken speech can only lead him to the assumption that she's been drinking.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You've over come so much that if you didn't end up like this- people would question life itself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get angry with me. I'm simply saying that shit happens and it sucks. We deal with it in our own ways." He firmly says as he removes his hands from her.

"Shit happens? Well yer right about that. Shit happens and ya can't rely on anyone." She stands up and throws the bear back in the crib.

"What? What do you wanna fight about that we hadn't before?"

"You left me."

"Oh for Christ sake Beth! I apologized for that!"

"Well it's not good enough!"

"What's not good enough? I'm here ain't I Beth? I'm trying to make up for what I did to ya. I told ya from the beginning I wasn't a nice guy! Why were you so surprised when I hurt you? When I continue to hurt you! I'm not ever gonna be yer dream guy! I'm never gonna get that whole husband fantasy make over! So I'm sorry for getting yer hopes up."

"Yer right. Yer not my dream guy. When I met you, you were gay or whatever! Yer rude, inconsiderate, and an asshole..."

"Keep goin'!"

"I hate that you don't cut yer hair or understand how to treat people like decent human beings! Yer bullheaded, irritating, and above all a terrible person!" Her voice resonates throughout the house and he just sits there un-phased by her harsh words. He's heard them all before. He has them etched into his skin like tallies. Standing up he look around the nursery and just consumes his anger.

"Well. There ya go. Guess you'd expect nothing less than for me to leave. Fine. But know that this time...this time I ain't ever coming back. No matter the peril or want from you. I'm done. I'll always love you and those boys, but as far as I'm concerned- I want nothing to do with you ever again." Turning on his heel, he heads to the door when her voice catches him.

"Why am I not surprised yer leaving again?"

"Do you think my heart is some kind of toy for you to manipulate and use? I try way harder than I have to to be with you, and you never seem happy with me. Did you ever think that maybe the reason I leave is because you want me to be something I'm not? Maybe you need the reality check. Maybe you need to see how you treat people before you start crucifying others. This whole postpartum depression seems more like a gig to make people feel sorry for you. Well I don't. Not any more. Nasty people like you are the reason I am the way I am. I'm just sorry I couldn't see it before." Walking out, he slams the nursery door and heads down stairs, grabbing his duffle bag on the way out. He doesn't need that crap. People may think of him as bad, but he only hands out what he's been dealt. As far as he's concerned, Beth was just another stone in the sidewalk. He tried being nice, but in the end, you can't please everyone. If something's meant to be then it will happen regardless of trying to change the course you take.

****
Dear Readers,

So yer all probably really pissed at me right now. Hold off the terrible comments and let me explain life to you for these two characters.

Starting with Daryl:
-we know how his childhood was, but what I didn't add in here was that many a times Daryl had tried to woo the opposite sex and he was always down trotted and tortured through people just not being kind. So Daryl's normal attitude to every is to be a jerk- it's a defense mechanism.
-what happens behind the sense in these Bethyl moments- the scenes that aren't pertinent to the whole story is that Beth can actually be pretty, well, bitchy and demanding of Daryl. Take her constant demand of his affection and attention that we noticed back when he was living with Rick. She was trying to smart his attention in a needy kind of way, a way that Daryl would most likely see as those other girls treated him.
- now take into consideration the way he's been acting up to this point. He himself has taken the higher ground on moral standing and has forced himself into the role of caregiver which is unDaryl altogether. He was probably hoping for some kind of positive response to Beth.

Now, bear with me as we take a look at Beth's rather- pardon me- bitchy behavior.
- first, we have seen in the past many examples of Beth being a little dramatic in her way- take the hunting incident for example. She has also, from the view point of Maggie, been given a lot of attention through out her life, probably from being the youngest (I know how it is, in the youngest in my family and I play the drama card very well and often...adds for affection ) any way, so this recent behavior from Bethany is probably resorting to these ways for not getting her wanted months ago, I.e when Daryl abandoned her.
- because Beth is found in the nursery in this last part of the chapter, one could possibly dictate that she isn't really suffering from post postpartum depression but is suffering from her own fantasy of having the perfect life as Daryl references too. She put on one Hell of an act for everyone that now she is really just losing her mind by saying hurtful things.

Whether or not you agree with these theories and explanations is unimportant because I am the writer of this story. Lol. So sit tight and accept what happens.

Love,
Almy Rose
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