That's Why I Love You

Chapter 11

Lexa

My horse sauntered down the dirt path, his shoulders moving with every step. I had brought along two of my generals--two that wanted to see Arkadia succeed. I don't really understand how they could without any sort of personal ties to the Arkadians, as I have.

Indra and twenty other guards came. She thought that twenty was never enough, but I assured her that there would be a thousand waiting at Arkadia.

"What troubles you, Heda?" Indra asked, looking over at me. I stared at the neck of my horse. What did trouble me? Probably Clarke, as it usually was. But I knew Clarke would be safe. The plan that she had told me didn't jeopardize her own safety in any way.

And then there was Titus. I couldn't follow through on my threat of killing him by morning—this morning. Clarke and Arkadia were more important. Titus would remain in prison for as long as I needed him to. Arkadia could be in flames right now. So Titus got to keep his life for the time being.

"There is nothing that troubles me. My mind is clear." I lied.

Indra sensed the lie, but she didn't press for detail.

"We should be arriving shortly." I said.

After a few minutes, I could see Arkadia in the distance, and my men surrounding it. They were surprisingly quiet, and didn't seem out for blood as I had expected. When I arrived, the men stirred and some cheered. I kept my face stern, to keep the unfeeling mask on. Normally it would've been hard to do so. My heart soared when I knew my people worshipped me. But this was not a happy circumstance.

"Heda!" They yelled. I nodded at them as we rode by to a tent already set up for me. Indra and I dismounted our horses and I handed the reins to Indra. She walked off with both horses, and I entered my tent.

Walking in here reminded me of the past. Some good and some bad. I met Clarke in this tent. She walked in, and I had no idea that things would lead to what they did. I tried to intimidate her, and it usually worked, but she stood her ground. That stubborn, stubborn girl.

It was where I had kissed her, too. Sometimes I thought about what would've happened if I hadn't done it then. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard to abandon her at Mount Weather.

But this was also the tent that I told her that her current lover needed to die. It was awful of me to think like this, but if Finn hadn't died, then Clarke might've been with him all along. She wouldn't have even looked at me, not in the way I wanted. However, I would've wanted to spare her the pain of losing him. She had already lost too much.

I slid my hand across my throne. It was a replica of the one in Polis. This one remained in TonDC when I made my yearly tour to the clans.

"Indra." I called. She knew I liked my privacy, but she was always close by, despite my reluctance. She entered.

"Yes, Heda?"

"Do you have the radio?" I asked. I was hoping to talk to Clarke and see how her plan was folding out. It didn't seem too complicated, but sometimes those Sky People couldn't think. Clarke could, of course. She was the most intelligent person I knew.

Indra pulled out the radio from her belt and handed it to me. I grabbed it from her and turned, signaling Indra to leave.

"Clarke?" I asked. I didn't hear her voice, and so I asked again. She didn't respond.

"Is anyone there?" I asked. Nothing.

Stay calm, Lexa. She's probably just doing some rebellion things. There's nothing to worry about.