Viper

Revisiting the Past

"Ay mijo it's not something to be afraid off. It's life. For better or for worse. Because let me tell you, if you hide under a rock, even if you go off and live all by yourself in the middle of the desert, it'll find you. You'll have your favorite bird get eaten by a snake, or your favorite tree gets hit by lightning or your hut gets washed away by a flash flood. I should know.

Your great-great-grandfather from your mother's, aunt Leticia's side had a brother, whose cousin was a hermit who said 'A la chingada con la colonizasion (Screw the colonization)' and went to live up there on the hills of Yukalapa in Teotitxtuaclon. And I heard stories from mi tia (my aunt) Xochi who would bring him food. And he would always say 'Que a la chingada con esto (screw this), y que chinge su madre aquel (and fuck that) y que se me murio el perro (and my dog died)' and on and on.

Se murio alla el solo y nadie se dio cuenta hasta dos meses cuando la tia pudo ir otra ves a llevarle la comida y lo encontro tirado (He died alone, nobody noticed until two months later when the aunt went back up to bring him food and found him lying). Ayi la tia que lo mordio unas culebras (bitten by some snakes according to the aunt)," said Grams blessing herself as it is customary to do when speaking of the dead.

"So you see? Even in the middle of nowhere, life will find you and get you," Grams concluded.

"That's good and all but this is different. Things are harder now and times have changed," said David. Just as every generation feels their discovery of the world unique, uncharted and unprecedented. Until the next generation be groans them too for not understanding or keeping up with every new hurdle and facet of the human experience.

"Oh please. Times are always changing and life is always hard and it's never the right time for anything to go wrong or for any challenge to come our way. But try to sit there and argue with life to make sense. You'll spend the rest of your life arguing and not getting anything you want done," she replied.

David was still unconvinced and now that he started voicing his inner thoughts, he had more to say.

"But why would you want me here anyway? Why would anyone need me here? I've only made things worse in the few weeks I've been here. What good can come of me staying?" David said searching for a reason to belong.

"Mijo, enserio que eres tonto (Son, seriously you are dumb)," said Grams ironically.

"Claro que si te necessitamos (Ofcourse we need you)! You are our family and we are all that's left of it," said Grams, beginning to tear up at the realization she had tried to ignore for the last few weeks since the death of her son.

"We need one another. Now more than ever! And what do you mean make things worse?" asked Grams.

David hesitated. He knew what he felt like saying, but didn't know how to word it. He had also tried for so long to ignore this, that he had never considered vocalizing it. Now that he had gone this far and was on the verge of saying it, he did not know how to get the words out from his mind to his mouth.

David took a subtle breath.

"If family is so important, then why was I sent away for so long? It's because I destroyed the family," he said stuttering through the last part.

"What are you talking about? You didn't destroy the family! Is that what you really think? David, you are a grown man now. I can't believe I have to tell you this. You were not responsible for your mother's death. You should know that. Whomever pulled that trigger, that is who is responsible, not you!