Do I Wanna Know

Chapter 4

It was so tempting to just let loose and tell Camila about all of my fears and doubts concerning my career and life in general. I knew, she would understand. And that’s exactly why I chose not to. She was here now. But in a few hours I’d be alone again and no one else would understand. It was easier just staying in my world of denial. Feeling nothing was better than feeling like hell.

I felt her still eyeing me and exhaled the white smoke that had just corrupted my lungs once more. After a few seconds my voice was steady enough to answer the younger woman by my side.

“I’m not sad, though. Just tired sometimes but I have some time off now and I’ll be as good as new in two days”, I lied as best as I could while Camila now looked away and took in the view again. Neither of us said anything for a while and I it was so annoyingly obvious that she didn’t believe me when I said that I’d be fine. Why did she still have to look right through me like that?

“What do you think would happen if we were to take a selfie right now and post it?”, Camila said out of nowhere and started giggling.

That’s when I realized she was a little tipsy now. Her giggle gave her away. Over the years I had become a master of reading her different stages of drunkenness. A lot of times when alcohol was involved, things got…complicated with us. So I had learned to differentiate the varying levels of her intoxication. Now she seemed just a little tipsy, which made her giggly and mostly silly. I had always loved that side of her because she’d make me relax.

I still looked at her with a confused expression on my face.

“You’re kidding, right?” I said cautiously.

“You think they’d still care?” she asked still smiling. I knew she could be nonchalant about this because she was in a serious relationship. She wouldn’t care what people might say after all of these years but I felt a little wave of concern approaching me. It wasn’t that I was worried for myself. I was worried because I didn’t want to risk any chance I had of getting Camila back; as a friend, of course.

 “I’m not sure”, I said truthfully.

“Then let’s do it”, she countered immediately, leaving me a little perplexed. I wasn’t certain why Camila was so adamant about this but I was willing to do anything at this point to keep here with me.

“Come on, give me your phone. It’ll be fun for the good old harmonizers”, she added and I did what she asked of me. I pulled out my slim smartphone, typed in my code and gave her the device. Her face was lighting up and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of that. It only took her a few seconds to open my instagram app and look around to find the perfect spot for the picture.

“Come here”, she said and waved me over to her, “I want to get that amazing view as well.”

I slowly walked over and took my position next to her while she adjusted the camera in front us. While one hand was managing my phone up in the air, the other was putting our wine glasses next to each other like we were just toasting. I couldn’t help but smile again because she put so much thought into one picture. The background looked amazing with all the lights of the Miami skyline. Camila closed in so I could smell the scent of her shampoo, which almost sent shivers down my spine.

“Perfect!” she exclaimed. “Smile, Lauren.”

She didn’t have to instruct me to smile because I hadn’t been able to wipe that stupid smile off my face ever since she came up with the idea of this. It took a second to make it but I knew I would savor that picture forever. She seemed so lively and happy which had always been contagious and she couldn’t stop smiling either when we saw the finished product.