Sometimes Our Minds Work Against Us...
We all have those days, you know the ones. The ones where you sit there and are just numb. You don't feel anything even though you know you are sad and would really like a hug; you have this over stimulating feeling of solitude and understanding. Everything is quieter. You running through a thousand piles of leaves would be a silent night and you would feel none of the joy that usually comes with it. The feeling of anticipation for something amazing happening, no matter how small the feeling was you feel it disappear.
You sit there and wonder what you are doing and realize none of it is important. The world spinning 700 miles an hour under your feet and running around the sun at 108,000 miles an hour, it makes you feel like such an insignificant part of the universe. You realize how small and unimportant you are.
You sit there and feel like the gravity has been put on high and you are being pulled into the earth never to be seen again. Like your future grave is getting bored waiting for you, so it decides to get you just a little early; and you just feel this utter weightlessness to yourself and you feel the pull but do nothing to shake it. You just let yourself be pulled deeper and deeper.
I walk, no one seems to know this but I really like to walk. I don’t just hide away in Bunker Nine all the time, no I do get up and leave periodically, because the machines have lost their interest and my mind has just forgotten how to make them speak and work for me. So I get up and leave, usually passing by some other Hephaestus kid who was up watching me, making sure I was okay.
I walk right past them and out to the woods, I know monsters live there, but they don’t seem to bother me. Like they know what it is like to feel so terrible that you’re being pulled into the ground, or maybe what that’s what it’s like to be pulled back into Tartarus. You are just slowly sucked away, only to be remade.
This hopeless feeling, does it ever get better? Because I’ve been going on my walks for years now, I’m almost eighteen and it still hasn’t left. Please tell me that it goes away, because I can’t keep up this façade anymore…
Tell me…tell me that it’ll get better, that it’ll go away and then I’ll try to fight through it… tell me that it’ll go away, just lie to me, and get me to fight my way back away from it. Because I don’t know if I can anymore…
Message Over.
I look at the final piece of Leo’s workshop, the one little piece that cabin nine told me to clear away. I pick it up and put it on the top of the little box of Leo’s things. Walking back to camp I can’t help but think of the mechanic, and that night that Leo burnt up…
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Sometimes Our Minds Work Against Us...
FanfictionEver wonder what happens when the Demigods and people around them do or feel in their free time? What they do when they aren't on their quests or off saving the world? Wonder what would they be like if you stripped past the heroics, and see what the...
