SAFE :: ZAYN

[09]

-

Zayn woke up in a panic.

He sat up straight in the bed, his eyes trying to adjust to the unfamiliar setting of the room. He blinked and looked around, noticing this wasn't an alley and it wasn't Yemi's house.

Zayn stared at everything, the pale blue walls and the very neat and symmetrical decorations around the whole room. A chair was placed across from the bed and another person was at the other bed a few feet away.

"You slept like a baby," he flinched at the sound of his roommate's voice and closed his eyes, "it's alright man, breathe."

"Where am I?" Zayn asked quietly, not making eye contact with the person and resorting to staring at the floor.

"You're in the rehab center? Remember? You came last night with your son and some girl? Yemi?"

And Zayn sighed, beating himself up because, of course. Yesterday was the last he saw of his son so far and it was all for good reasons. He was finally getting help -- even though he didn't want to be here -- so he'd be a better father and finally get back on the right track. He had a nasty addiction to cocaine and how it started was a whole other story he knew he was gonna get into if he lived here for three months.

Zayn sighed, finally looking at his roommate. His name was Max or something, and he was recovering from cocaine also. Although, he was now three months clean and totally ready to go back into the real world, he didn't because he wanted to help others and he also hadn't been sure if he was ready himself. He wanted to be extra secure.

"Zayn, is it?" Max spoke up and Zayn nodded, "cool. My name is Spencer."

Oh. Totally different name.

"Okay," Zayn scratched his arm and looked around, "what are we doing here anyway? Like, what are we doing today?"

"First, we're gonna go to breakfast," Spencer got up and Zayn stayed put, "look, my first day here was pretty weird also, but I promise you'll get used to it and it'll all be fine. Besides the group sessions. Those are terrible."

Zayn pulled the covers away, pulling his pants up and adjusting his clothes before putting on the shoes he was provided with and following Spencer out the door.

"Wow, you're small, man."

"Thanks," Zayn scratched his beard and looked at people standing and walking aimlessly in the hallway. He watched faces contort at the walls and all too familiar eye twitches on everyone's face.

"This is like, the month one patients," Spencer stated as they kept walking, "first floor. Second floor are second months and third floor you can guess the rest. It's a pretty average facility, but the people are golden. Great help."

Zayn kept his eyes low as they walked into the cafeteria. Spencer was greeted several times as they went and Zayn made it to the food.

"Average cafeteria food, right here," Spencer kept talking and Zayn thought maybe he should shut up, "not nasty, though. It's actually pretty good."

Zayn nodded, taking the eggs and pancakes.

"No meat?"

"It's all pork," Zayn replied with a shrug.

"Oh, we have chicken sausage down there, sweetie," the lady passing out food pointed to the end of the line, where more substitute food choices were.

"Thank you." He went to the other section and got more food, stocking up on milk cartons and putting them on the tray.

"Follow me," Spencer strolled to a table and Zayn sat across from him, staring at his food, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Zayn rubbed his face and put his elbow on the table, "nothing."

"Zayn, honestly, it's better to talk to me than the counselors sometimes. They're just here to talk but I'm your actual roommate and I've been through this before."

Zayn stared at Spencer and finally broke. "I just miss my son, man."

"And I get it--"

"You have a son, too?"

"Daughter, but I do understand. Just saw her yesterday so we're both starting fresh. The bi weekly visits do help and you don't realize your progress until you've hit month one. You don't need the drugs anymore."

"I didn't even need them in the first place," he grumbled and Spencer clapped, a huge smile on his face, "what?"

"At least you realized it now. I used to snort cocaine like it was my job. I should have got paid, man."

Zayn chuckled, looking at his food and shaking his head. "It's literally an addiction and I should want it now but I do. Ugh!"

"Don't think about--"

"How?" he deadpanned, huffing and looking away, "I'm going to lose my mind."

"You are, I'm not going to lie. You're gonna be pinned down a few times and sedated maybe. They're going to put you in those wretched Spongebob walls and you might go crazy. Cocaine is a helluva drug."

Zayn looked down at his tattooed arms, his jaw clenching and his skin feeling itchy all over. He shuddered and shook his head yet again, trying to not think about cocaine.

"You okay, man?"

"I'm not hungry anymore. Oh my God, Spencer."

"Hey, breathe, Zayn. You got this. Do it for Jahdai, please."

And Zayn mellowed out some, sighing and looking at the now cold eggs. "I'm going to scream."

"Same."

"What?" Zayn managed to laugh through it all.

"Did I distract you?"

"Yes, actually."

"You're fucking welcome."

-

I have shit to do so bye

and follow my backup jitties

☺️❤️