Saved Myself {Riarkle}

Chapter 3

I sit on my bed wondering if he really meant it. It's already almost nine and he isn't here, so maybe he isn't coming.

I lay back on my bed as someone knocks on my bay window. No one comes here at this hour except Maya, but she hasn't needed to sneak out lately.

I get up to see the boy.

I go over and slowly open it and he steps in as if he's done it millions of times. He smiles widely as if he's waiting for me to smile back which is so not going to happen. I give him a weird look and wait for him to say something.

When he stays silent I say, "Well, welcome to my room. Don't get used to it since I'm not going to be letting you in much."

"Nice place you got. Kinda dull though," he comments.

Can't deny it. I got rid of all the purple and bright colors after eighth grade. Didn't match my personality anymore, so there really wasn't any reason to keep it.

"Yeah. I like it that way," I tell him defensively, "So how exactly are you going to prove it."

He stands and goes over to my dresser to see some pictures of my family and I. Slowly he picks it up and responds with, "I just did."

I go over to him and take the picture frame out of his hands. "And how did you Farkle?"

He tears his eyes away from my stuff to look fully into my eyes. "I didn't even have to do anything. I just showed up and you opened the window. Now, maybe that doesn't fully prove that I'm trustworthy, but it does prove that you have a heart of gold."

I'm about to ask how when he goes and sits on my bed. "Why did you let me in Riley?" Farkle asks me with a smart ass smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes and explain, "Because you said you would prove it, so when you showed up at my window I decide to let you in to do just that."

The boy nods his head. "You do realize I could be some kind of killer or something though right? Like, I could literally have the worst intentions in the world right now, but you let me in."

"Well, yeah you could be here to kill me, I guess. I doubt it though," I defend myself as I shoo him off my bed.

The blue eyed boy gets off and looks at some pictures on my wall. "Yet you still haven't kicked me out yet. Why?"

I groan. "Isn't it obvious? I'm choosing to trust you."

Farkle turns to me and smiles yet again. "Precisely. You choose to trust people because you believe in them."

I roll my eyes. "What are you, a fucking fortune cookie?"

He chuckles and points to a picture. "What's the point of this picture?"

"Huh?" I say in an unintelligent manner and getting up to see which picture he's looking at.

"This one."

It's a picture of my mom and I when I was about ten handing out blankets to the homeless. I remember that day so clearly. I had saved up as much money as I could and asked if I could do that. My mom and said yes as long they came with me.

"I'm giving out blankets to the homeless," I state.

"Because you have a heart of gold," he repeats as he looks at me.

I shake my head. "Maybe I used to, but not anymore. I haven't done anything that nice in years."

He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs while moving to sit in the bay window. "Maybe you haven't done anything that nice in a while, but that doesn't mean you haven't done anything nice."

"Okay," I say through gritted teeth, "Name one thing that I've done nice recently."

"First of all, you let Smakle take over the project even though you didn't want her too. Then, you're nice to Lucas and Zay when they need new friends."

I snort. "I'm hardly nice to them."

He ignores my comment. "And lastly you choose to be civil with me. You even let me in your room when you barely know me."

"Why is it so important to you that I know all of this? Why do you want me to know that I have a 'heart of gold' so badly?" I cry out.

Farkle sighs deeply the quietly says, "I've seen too many people do awful things to make others change themselves. I don't want you to be affected by other people in that way."

"How do you know if someone's done or gonna do something that's gonna change me?"

"Riley, I know about the bullying. I know that letting Smakle do the experiment crushed you. I know that letting Lucas and Zay into your group freaks you out because you're afraid to let people in," the guy says in a serious tone.

I'm at a loss for words. How could he possibly know any of that? These are things that not even my best friend knows. This isn't possible.

I look down with tears brimming my eyes. "How could you possibly know any of that?"

"Because it's happened to me too," Farkle says quietly, "I don't want you to lose yourself the way I did."

I look into his eyes and see the same brokenness that I have in mine. Almost as if our eyes are reflecting each other, but they aren't. I now know that this mystery boy has been through more than he lets on.

Slowly, I nod. "I've already lost parts of me. I don't want to lose myself completely. The thing is I don't know how to do that."

"Well, the thing I needed the most was for someone to remind me who I am. Someone to snap me out of the illusion that I'm not good enough."

"I get it," I agree with him. "For me that's you."

His eyes get wide for a second and he doesn't say anything. "That's nice and all, but I don't even hangout with you. I'm kinda everywhere and nowhere at once."

I grab his hands and beg. "You're the one to make me realize all this, you can't just walk away. Please."

Farkle pulls one hand away to rub his face and the other rubs circles in the back of my hand. "How will you explain me hanging out with your group to your friends?"

I smile. "Simple. We met a few times and now we want to hangout more."

He groans. "Fine," he agrees, "I'll do it."

"Thank you!" I say really loudly and give him a side hug.

I'm about to pull away when he hugs me back. I look up to see that he has a small smile on his face. Maybe we can be good for each other.