Saved Myself {Riarkle}

Chapter 11

We've been sitting in the waiting room for a long time.

Riley's parents kept insisting that we go home and rest, but we refused. I rather sleep here and find out any news then be at home.

I look up and see the doctor coming over to our cluster of people. I stand, along with everyone else, and brush my fingers through my brown hair.

"The good news is that she's awake, but she needs some rest and physical therapy from dislocating her shoulder. We also pumped out a lot of water from her lungs. Just don't let her do too much yet. She'll stay here for a few more days for observation and then she should stay home for a few more days after," Dr. Abby tells us.

Riley's parents hold onto each other. Her mom has been crying nonstop for the last hour. The little boy that I was told is her younger brother is sitting next to Maya asking why she would do this. Maya has no answer.

"Are we allowed to see her yet?" Maya's mom asks.

The doctor nods. "One at a time except for immediate family. Immediate family please follow me now."

They start to walk away and I hear the doctor mumble something about needing a antidepressants. I pretend that I didn't hear anything and lean back in my chair.

It feels like hours pass before everyone else has gone before it's finally my turn. I stand and walk with the doctor down a few hallways until we finally get to her room. I stand there in front of her door for a second, working up the courage to see her, and then I go in.

I open the door and Riley turns to me. I see the saddest look in her eyes and I can't help but be reminded of how it's my fault.

I stay near the door out of fear and then say, "I have somethings to say, and you don't need to reply to it. I just need to say it.

When she doesn't open her mouth I continue.

"I know I hurt you back in middle school and that it's all my fault, but it's because I've been there before and I thought it would make you notice me. I was wrong. I was so wrong. I should've know how wrong it was, but I was so excited to get you to notice me that I wasn't thinking.

"You don't have to talk to me ever again, just please know I wasn't lying or just 'repenting' when I said that you have a heart of gold. I meant it. You are amazing and you need to know it."

Her eyes are on me, but they don't seem to focus on me.

"Don't let me or anyone take that away. The world needs you. Your family and friends need you." My voice drops to a whisper, "I need you."

I then turn and start to open the door when Riley calls to me.

I turn and wait.

She says, "I get why you did it, but I don't get why you're trying to show me, I guess, who I used to be."

I walk over to her bed and look her dead in the eyes so that she knows I'm serious. "Because people try to fix there mistakes and I made a mistake by making you doubt yourself. This is my fault. You wouldn't have jumped if it hadn't... I'm awful..."

I feel Riley's hand brush mine, but I pull away and leave. As the door closes I hear her small voice calling for me, asking me to come back.

I run passed the waiting room causing everyone there to try and stop me, but I keep going. I run down the street making random turns until I find a park. I start at it trying to think of the last time I've played on one like a child.

I can't remember.

I go over and climb a metal ladder to get to a platform with nothing over it. I lay there and watch the sky as the sun sets.

Why did I have to hurt her?

Why do I have to screw everything up?

Why break an angel?

I close my eyes for a second and wish that I could go back in time and stop myself from bullying Riley. Even if our paths never would've crossed... it would've been better than this.