I Could Be Nothing But a Memory to You

Chapter 5

When I ran into Chase's arm I kind of felt sad, I wish I was running into Alex's instead but I shook that thought of my head and looked up at him smiling. Chase kissed me and I was disappointed. They were nothing like Alex's lips. His were soft and they made me feel like I was flying, like the whole world had stopped just to smile on us. Chase's kiss was also nothing like Alex's, Alex's kiss was soft and sweet while Chase's was strong and forceful almost. Oh how I wished I was kissing Alex instead of Chase I thought for a moment. Suddenly I realized that was wrong I tried to push the thought out of my head and then pulled away after a couple more seconds of kissing him. It just wasn't the same, I wanted Alex's lips more then my boyfriend's and I felt horrible. He smiled down at me and I felt like melting away into the sand and just disappearing forever and ever.

Here I was cheating on my amazing boyfriend. I felt dirty, I made myself sick. Guilt bubbled up in my stomach and I deserved to be alone forever I thought to myself. I felt even worse when I saw Alex stomping off towards the bus. Not only had I cheated on Chase but now I had hurt Alex because I couldn't decide what to do. God, was I a bitch. I decided that I needed to choose one and that one would Chase. Alex had had his chance and he blew it! It was someone else's turn now and I decided to focus fully on him and only him. I grabbed Chase's hands and then I pulled him towards where my stuff was. He took off his shirt and threw it on my bag and I followed his lead, taking off my shirt and shorts.

"So Leah, are you gonna introduce me to your friends?" he asked. It was weird, he never really held any interest in knowing my friends. I nodded and dragged him over by where all the guys were still playing football, searching for Jack, deciding he should meet my first best friend before anyone else. I looked for him and spotted him a second later on the far end of the beach, "Jack! Come over here please!" I said loudly, gesturing for him to come. Jack ran over to me, a giant smile on his face and stopped right before he ran me over. "Jack this is Chase, my boyfriend, Chase this is Jack, my best friend from when I lived in Maryland." I said. Jack smiled and stuck out his hand to shake Chase's and Chase just nodded at him. Jack stood there for a second and then gave me a look before walking off.

I sighed and shook my head before introducing him to everyone else, his reaction the same to everyone. Finally I was getting really fed up! I was trying to include him in my life and let him meet my friends but here he was acting like he didn't care. I groaned and grabbed his arm, dragging him off to the side where no one else was. "What is your problem?" I asked him. "Nothing, I don't have a problem." he said coolly. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Really Chase? Nothing? Cause you aren't even trying to be polite. You said you wanted to meet my friends and I'm letting you meet them! I'm always nice to your friends, why can't you do the same for me?" I said annoyed. He rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry, I just don't like it that my girlfriend is hanging out with a bunch of guys! And I said I wanted to meet them, not become their best fucking friends." he said, angrily.

"Chase, I'm not asking you to become best friends with them! All I ask is that you're at least civil to them and try to get along with them, who knows? You might actually like them, give them a chance! And they're my friends, nothing else, don't you trust me? " I asked and then I felt like a jerk. He was right, I shouldn't be hanging out with all these guys. He shouldn't trust me, I was a cheating bitch and I didn't deserve him or anyone else for that matter. "I do trust you Leah," he said and my stomach dropped. God I was such a cheating bitch! "It's just, I don't trust them." he said, grabbing my hand. I gave him a small smile, "You can trust them, they're nice guys, I promise you'll like them, just give them a chance please?" I asked. Here they were getting blamed for something they would never do and I was stuck feeling like a douche because my boyfriend trusted me and I didn't deserve it. He sighed and then nodded, "For you baby." he said, kissing my cheek and then walking towards Jack.