I Could Be Nothing But a Memory to You

Chapter 19

"Brewster." I said while watching my puppy sleep curled up beside Sebastian and Peyton. "What?" Alex asked not looking up from his cell phone. "Brewster or Brew for short. What do you think?" I questioned while snuggling into his side. We were on his bed and I had refused to go back to Jack's, wanting to be as close to Brewster as possible. "For the dog?" he inquired his fingers dancing along the touch screen of the phone. "No for me Alex, of course for the dog." I said sarcastically and he glared at me for a moment before looking at the dogs at the end of the bed.

"I like it." Alex mumbled before turning back to his cell phone and I scowled. "Are you even listening to me?" I asked feeling the need to just smack the phone from his hands. "Mhm." was the grumbled, half dazed response he gave me and I glared at him. Alex didn't notice my look though which infuriated me more and I climbed over him. I grabbed Brewster gently and stomped out of his room and down to the living room. Rian was sitting on the couch watching TV when I came in and sat down next to him. I arranged the puppy in my lap and didn't even look at Rian even though I could feel his eyes on my face.

"What's the matter?" Rian asked a couple minutes later. I didn't answer though; the only sound was the TV blaring loudly and our breathing. "Leah, there is something wrong, talk to me?" Rian begged and I looked over at him. "Alex doesn't fucking listen to me and it's so annoying." I snapped and Rian raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry but really Leah? What do you expect? That's Alex for you." he said and I growled. Even if it was true, it wasn't something I wanted to hear, I was hoping for "maybe he's tired" or something but nope. Rian and I didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the night and later on he retreated upstairs to his bedroom. I was alone on the couch and I sat cross legged while staring tiredly at the TV. I was about to lie down and sleep out here when Alex threw himself on the couch beside me and tried to lean his head on me.

I pushed him away and scooted away from him though. "What is the matter with you?" he asked but I ignored him. I focused on my nails instead of Alex's stares and then his sigh. "This is why we fight! You get all upset and then you don't even tell me why!" he snapped and my head went up quickly. "Maybe we wouldn't be fighting if you actually listened to me Alex!" I screamed and Brewster jumped up and whimpered. "I don't listen? I was obviously just asking you what your fucking problem was!" he shouted and I just wanted to hit him. "Alex, I tried talking to you upstairs but you were wrapped up in your phone, you don't listen!" I cried my anger quickly melting away as I felt the overwhelming urge to cry. Alex's face softened at the sound of my voice and the obvious tears in my eyes. "Leah, I didn't-" Alex went to say.

"Save it Alex, I don't care anymore because obviously you don't care at all." I said cutting him off and turning so my back was to him. I wanted to push him away as he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist but instead I leaned back into his warm chest. "I'm sorry Leah, I didn't mean to ignore you or snap at you." Alex said softly and the tears started down my face. Alex twisted me around and pulled me to his chest. I buried my face into him, embarrassed about crying like a big giant baby. I didn't know why I was so upset, I just felt like all of the emotions that I had been feeling for the past three days doubled with the exhaustion for the lack of sleep were now boiling over and escaping in the sobs that now came from me.

"I'm sorry." I cried feeling so stupid and young. I was so exhausted, having barely slept so I could watch Alex and make sure he didn't have another nightmare made it even harder for me to control my tears. "Shh, don't cry. Come on; let's get you upstairs and into bed." Alex said soothingly while starting to navigate me upstairs. "Brew, I want Brewster." I whined tiredly and Alex stopped to look around. Once he had the puppy in one hand he used the other to grab my hand and he led me upstairs. Tears kept going down my face and I wiped at them angrily with my free hand. I couldn't believe how stupid I was being, there was no point in all this drama but I couldn't seem to help myself.