I Will Find You Again

Chapter six

"Roman, how could you say that? Don't you love me? We've been apart for this long, and you want to push me away?" Livia said, crying.
"I don't want to push you away, but for your safety I have to, I've lost you too many times, I can't bear to lose you again."
Her fingers went to the necklace and she started to unclasp it, my eyes widened, grabbing her hands. "Keep it on, please, I'd feel better knowing it was with you."
"I just wish you'd change your mind about this. We've been apart too long, and you're just being stubborn."
"Trust me I do want to be with you, but I'm not going to sacrifice your life, just so I can be with you."
She wrapped her arms around her knees, her shoulders slumping, tears flowing down her face harder than before. "Livia, forgive me, please," I said, pulling her to me, pressing my mouth to hers. Her hands pressing against my chest, my hands slid to her waist, pulling her to straddle me. "Roman," Livia moaned into my mouth, "make me yours."
I pulled back, realizing where this was leading too, and not willing to set into motion the events that would lead to Livias death. I ran my fingers through my hair, "Livia, I can't do this. No matter how much I love you, I can't."
She leaned her forehead against mine, her fingers tracing across my mouth, "If you change your mind, you know where to find me," she said, kissing me lightly, slowly getting off my lap, "oh and you might want to take care of that Roman," her eyes lingering on my waist. As she went out of the living room and up to her room, I cursed, wanting to follow her up there and make love to her all night, but I knew I had to be vigilant, and keep her alive.
I went up shortly after, the door to her room slightly ajar, but all I heard from her room was the sound of her crying. My heart ached knowing that pushing her away was hurting her. But I couldn't do that to her again, I can't be with her. It's always my fault that she dies, and I will not let that happen again.

The next day I was coming out of my room when she emerged, her eyes red and puffy, when she saw me, she ducked her head. She brushed past me, but before she made it down the hallway, I caught up to her, grabbing her hand, pulling her into me. She stiffened slightly, but soon melted into my arms. "My love, I hate seeing you hurt, but I hope you know that I'm not trying to hurt you, I love you more than anything in this world, and no matter what happens, all I want is to see you happy."
"I know," she said, laying her head against my chest, her fingers interlocking with mine. We walked downstairs hand in hand, until she stopped, her eyes glazing over, confusion on her face. As always, her memory of me faded, each lifetime it was harder to bring her back to me, "What? How? Why are you holding my hand?" She asked.
"Sorry, you just looked a little lost, I wish I could help you find your way. I will always be here to help you."
"Why aren't I with Randy? Oh god please don't tell me we slept together."
"No, I wouldn't do that to you. You deserve better than that."
She slid her hand out of mine, her fingers lingering on my palm.
"I love you," I muttered as she walked away from me. I turned and went back to my room, shutting and locking the door, sinking to the floor, and shedding the tears that I had allowed to build up for 500 years. I lost track of time staring at my ring that we had gotten for when we married originally, hers around my neck, pulsing against my heart. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a light knock, "Roman, it's me, Dean. Come on out man, you're freaking Livia out."
"Does she remember?" I asked.
"No, she's just worried about you."
"Then no I'm not coming out. I can't put her in danger."
"Roman, you won't, she can take care of herself."
"I can't be around her, I have to distance myself, no matter how much I love her."

Livia: Roman, please come out, you're seriously scaring me
Roman: No, you wouldn't understand
Livia: then help me understand, I want to help you
Roman: no, please just let me be