All In Your Head // C.L

Chapter 31 ~ The Call

Mez Pov

Yes,

I am pregnant...

But i don't want to be

I don't understand

But how??

I told him to use protection?

Was he just using me?
Does he want to have kids??

I dont want it,
Thats for sure
Im too young
I dont even know how to take care of myself, let alone a child of my own

I cant go through this alone

So i call the one person i can trust and will actually answer the phone

I dial her number and wait...
Tears exploding out of my eyes and loud sobs escaping my mouth

"hello?" i hear from the other end

"Shelby? Can you come over" the sounds of my heart beating in and out of my chest and my tears trying to be held back
I swallow the lump in my throat and let out a deep breath

"are you crying??"  i hear her say

"YES NOW JUST COME OVER PLEASE" I quietly shout into the phone

I don't know what came over me?
I never shout,
Certainly not at my best friend

My hands – shaky
My cheeks – pink and puffy
My breathing is uncontrollable
My heart – beating out of my chest
And my blood boiling

What the fuck am i supposed to do?
Be happy?

I was never happy to begin with

I don't want this baby

No.

I am 15

––––

After about 5 minutes, my front door slams open

"MEZ!! WHERE ARE YOU?"  i hear from downstairs

I am soo overwhelmed that i could not even say a word

I hear footsteps, running all around my house,
And finally up to the stairs

"there you are Mez, what happened??" Shelby's voice however seemed worried for me, yet comforting at the same time

I was in too much pain to even speak.

I sit up from the bathroom wall and slowly hand the pregnancy test

Her face was unreadable, her eyes filled with sympathy and her jaw drops.

"y-you're pregnant?" she asks, more of a question

I slightly lift my head and nod

"but how?"

And i knew from this point forward, she would never see me as the person that she used too, the person that lived a free life and was happy

––––

Her face was expressionless, her eyes widened and her mind in disbelief

"does he know?"

"Shelby i just found out myself, i cant face him and tell him that I'm pregnant, i haven't heard from Chris in fucking weeks, like he would want to know" my eyes  full of tears that I'm holding back

"Mez, he needs to know, Chris is the father after all" she says sympathetically

"No, i cant"

"mez-" i cut her off

"don't"

As the remaining tears escaped out of my eyes, i was left feeling dull and limp

Its silent for a few moments, for as the sounds of my soft sobs filling the room, her face was blank, giving nothing away...

"are you keeping it?"

I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing i killed a child, but i also cant help the fact that I'm way too young

"i don't want it" is all i can manage

Shelby's face turns from blank to somewhat annoyed

"why not?" she asks

"because i cant do it, i don't know how to look after a child, I'm 15. I still have school to worry about and my future. Having a baby is just too much to handle"

"i can help you with it, i promise you it will all be fine" she tells me

Nothing is fine anymore, i was never fine. I am not having a child whether she likes it or not

"Shelby i don't want it, don't you understand?" starting to feel very frustrated right now for she cannot tell me what i can and or cant do

"its Chris' baby too, don't you think he should have a say in this?"
I just lose it, all my thoughts, all my worries just come rushing out of me

"WELL DO YOU SEE CHRIS HERE?? NO, DO YOU THINK THAT I'VE HEARD FROM HIM AT ALL?? NO. IF CHRIS CARED, HE WOULD HAVE CALLED. I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING ANY TIME SOON, SO WHETHER HE KNOWS OR NOT, WHETHER IF HE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT PUTTING ME THROUGH ALL THIS THAN HE'D COME AND SEE ME OR EVEN JUST ASK HOW I'M FUCKING GOING, JUST FORGET IT"

"MEZ HE DOES –"

"SAVE IT"
"i don't need your input" i lower my voice down

––

Things go silent for a few seconds
What is happening to me??

"i'm sorry. I'm just under a lot of stress lately and –" Shelby cuts me off

"you don't have to say anything, its okay i understand. I shouldn't of forced you into it"

"Thank You"

–––

We get up from the bathroom floor and walk downstairs to the lounge room

I sit down on the couch and turn the Tv on. I put on an episode on of The Vampires Diaries, seconds later Shelby sits down the couch next to me.
As we're watching The Vampire Diaries, my phone starts buzzing from the coffee table. I pick it up and see that the Caller ID is Chris

"answer it!" Shelby shouts

Putting it to my ear, i answer the phone