Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

4.4 On The Scene

I didn't know how Max did it, but he convinced Carmen to come along and investigate the crime scene. The yellow tape still cornered the area but if anyone saw us, James and I were prepared to do some mind-altering mumbo jumbo. Because we could do the mind-altering mumbo jumbo, Carmen wasn't too pleased being on the sidelines.

"We're heading to a bar after this, right?" She asked as I helped James set up his magic circle.

"Slow down, sistah," Max said. "You need to take it easy."

"Take it easy? They have magic powers and you have an overzealous interest in anything that might involve vampires."

"No one's stopping ye from conducting yer own investigation, Carmen," James said as he added final details to his circle. "I need silence. And Lena, pass the pink chalk."

I looked inside the bucket of jumbo-sized sidewalk chalk and took out a two-and-a-half centimetre pink piece. "You should cut back on using this."

"I like that shade of pink. Now everyone shut the fuck up, I have to focus."

I stepped aside and gave James his space. While he did his thing, I checked my surroundings to see if I could detect anything. There was blood, but it was mostly human. One would think I'd visualize the victims' last or final memories, but that doesn't happen. It'd be cool if I tripped out to that from a whiff of their blood though. On the other hand I identified Alice as a chain smoker and her blood type was A positive. Definitely not diabetic.

Now if I were to target someone for their blood type, I'd go with O negative. For me it's not sugary sweet, and I'm not talking about artificial sugars. Someone with AB negative would be eating a cupcake that's entirely buttercream icing. AB is so rare blood farmers look into keeping humans with that blood type alive as much as possible. It's dark, but I could ask the same thing about raising cattle.

As for Dr. Black, as I was about to isolate her scent, Carmen yelled from a nearby dumpster, "Hey, I found something!"

James said a bunch of what I assumed were cuss words in a weird language. "What part of everyone shutting up donnae ye get?"

"The part where I made progress ahead of you." Max helped Carmen out of the dumpster. In her hand was a plastic grocery bag that looked like it was used to pick up dog shit. "At first I thought it was a bag of dog shit, but then I remembered why Dr, Black hid the pills."

"Fake dog shit?" I asked

"Yes, fake dog shit as part of a prank TV show. Of course it ain't fake dog shit!" Her sarcasm and annoyance echoed throughout that statement. "I'm not supposed to say this but this experimental diet pill isn't sanctioned by the university," Carmen explained while removing a banana peel from her head. "It's a personal project, which explains why she meets with her business partner Alice."

"This Alice, it wouldn't happen to be Alice Mitzen would it?" Max asked.

Carmen raised an eyebrow. "She never mentioned her surname. Is she some sort of vampire expert?"

"Her name appeared in a few of Dr. Black's research papers. In particular, Mitzen's master's thesis was on creating a wonder pill that not only helps in weight loss but enhances skin complexion. No need to tan or make your skin whiter. She never told you?"

Carmen shook her head.

And that's when I had my a-ha moment. Ever since the film featuring sparkle-skinned vampires came out, pale complexions became a thing again. Hundreds of years ago, having a pale complexion was a no-go for vampires. To avoid being outed or risk death by hunters, one would have to blend with the rest of the human population. Sadly, that required regular feeding. If one did not, the pale and veiny complexion kicks in and hello horror movie monster.

"Lena, hae ye grown a beard or hae ye got something?" James waved a hand in front of my face.

I shuddered as I came out of my trance, which oddly involved stroking my chin. "I know what we're searching for. Ninety-nine percent sure we're searching for vampires."

Max's eyes widened as he let out a squeal and flailed his arms. We were going on a vampire hunt and he couldn't hold in his excitement of encountering more of us. Meeting them in person sure outweighed the chance of becoming food.

As for Carmen, she rubbed her temple and uttered at him, "Keep it down, you weirdo."

James hummed. He took out a square piece of paper and folded it. Just as he was halfway through his origami thing, he held his hand out at Carmen. "I need those pills, and they better not be in dog shite."

Carmen opened the bag and stuck in her hand. She scrunched her face and stuck out her tongue, not enjoying retrieving the pills. Once she found a couple, she withdrew her hand, and it was covered in whatever hid the pills; however the pills, tablets actually, were clean.

James took the tablets, crushed them into powder and placed it inside his origami thing. Once he finished folding, it took the shape of a ram. Not long after Ramsay MacRamface appeared standing below a floating, origami ram.

"I need ye to find some vampires who may hae swiped something," James said in a low voice, talking directly to the floating, origami ram. "Can ye find them?"

The origami ram teetered then moved in the direction where it, or should I say Ramsay, sensed a compound exactly like it.

"It better not lead us to Dr. Black's private lab," Carmen said as she tossed the fake dog shit away.

"Well, if Ramsay does, we'll be ready when the vampires raid the place." When the origami ram stopped, James added on, "He wants us to follow."

I doubted James too. Ramsay could lead us to the lab, but I'm being bested by a familiar spirit that can transcend time and space, and simultaneously act as a mass spectrometer.

"Lena sistah, you coming or not?" Max called out, finally getting my name right for once. They were ahead of me and following a floating piece of paper art. I might as well join the crowd and follow the ram.

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Looks like the team found something. Where will Ramsay lead them? 

Interactive question: What was the strangest thing you found and kept? Do you still have it or did you throw it away?

I don't really need to remind people what to do at this point, but any form of support is much appreciated.

edit 19/04/2018