Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

5.5 Or Maybe He Can Do Something

Strong language warning. Notes at the end may make chapter appear longer than it is.

I was certain Draven wouldn't be coming back, and I took advantage of that by napping for the rest of the week. What I had planned as a two-day solid nap ended up more or less a short, twelve-hour, one-day nap. I woke from said nap from Carmen knocking on my door. Sure I was open to listening to her problems when she was ready, but the same applied to me. I'd be equal to having a statue as your shrink. Anyway, after draping myself in my bathrobe, I opened the door to find her choosing a spot on the closest couch. I moved to sit next to her on the same couch, leaving some space between us.

"That wasn't me," she confessed. "I'm not myself, and I haven't been since the news of Dr. Black's assault. It's possible it may have started before then."

We were off to a good start. She disclosed something about herself.

"I had a chat with Draven. I wasn't sure how to contact him at first. James was at an esbat when I tried calling him, so I made an impromptu Ouija board."

I looked at the coffee table and picked up the cardboard panel. One side was the standard board with the alphabet and numbers, the other featured a cartoon-like honey bee. "You know, you could've let him use your laptop. He was nineteen and born in this century when he died."

"Hey! I wasn't sober when I thought of this."

I folded my arms. "Okay then, what did he tell you?"

"Well, jack shit when I asked him questions. The shot glass moved too fast for me to understand him. I researched his family and learned of an aunt of his. This aunt had depression and problems with alcohol. Family found her in a bathtub dead likely from a suicide."

"And I guess he's met her?"

Carmen shrugged. "Probably. I didn't ask him about that."

"Maybe she crossed over."

"I doubt that." Carmen shuffled her feet and changed her position. "He reminded me why I should stay alive though. Basically, no one can see him unless they had a brush with death, or that's how I interpret it. I understand from his perspective he wouldn't want a Christian funeral. Do those things affect ghosts?"

"What? Funerals?"

"Yes, those. You know, if they watch them or not."

I shrugged. "No idea."

"When that happens, there are two individuals I wouldn't want attending: that dickhead of a step-father, and the fassyhole that was once my boyfriend. The dickhead warped my mum's mind she wouldn't recognize her own daughters. Luckily for my sister, Angela, she emancipated from them and then took custody of me. She didn't endure him as long as I had. Two and a half years of whatever he deemed unchristian denied, and yet he had the gall to touch me. The fassyhole would rather see me black and blue, and gaslight just to keep me. Got mugged once, and he called me an attention-seeking whore when picking me up from the police station. After having seen Dr. Black beaten up, it triggered bad memories which I drown with my drinking."

That was deep, and dark. I'm supposed to be the dark one but Carmen's experiences — okay, they're two kinds of dark and hers was the sad kind of dark. "This may be inappropriate to ask, but did you ever—"

"Try to escape? Many times from the dickhead! Not so much from the fassyhole."

"I get you on the escape thing, but I'll save it for another night."

Carmen raised an eyebrow. "And why can't you tell me tonight?"

"It contains spoilers for the season finale and I dropped a hint for it with this statement."