Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

7.5 Humans Are Friends ... And Food

The stoners led us to the least likely place you'd find a vampire—a tanning salon. While most vampires can withstand a sunny day, the tanning bed is the equivalent of being locked inside an iron maiden. Whoever invented the thing did a great service for punishing traitors, and for clans that love to practice torture it was the must-have device.

And it was the tanning salon where we split up into our groups again. Homayun and Sasha broke us in and we each took a floor of the three-storey building. Because James lost to Gerald in a game of rock-paper-scissors, we had to search the top. It was an additional flight of stairs and apparently the stoners weren't keen on going all the way up. Neither were we.

"Had you let me play, we'd get the second floor," Carmen groaned as we made our way up the first flight.

"Are ye implying that I lost on purpose?"

"I'm not, James. Yuh rass, you picked paper every time."

"Paper's always been my strategy. Besides, whether we lose or nae the bad guy is usually on the last floor, the top for us."

"Why don't I take that dustpan and—ow! Did your invisible ram just butt its head into my ass?"

"That's my fault." It wasn't mine that she was walking so slow. Okay, it might've been when I took a sip from her, but I refused to believe that.

"Like I'm going to move any faster. Stupid old building with no elevator."

"Aye, an elevator would be useful," James said the moment he stopped walking. "But we're here now, aren't we?"

We arrived on the floor and it was quiet. Quiet as in no one on the floor but us. You'd think there'd be a fan or a radiator running in the background, maybe a TV playing some old Looney Tunes. Nothing.

"We should—" Max started to say something but his voice sounded loud enough to wake the dead.

"You're gonna get us killed, eediat," Carmen hissed as she silenced him with her hand.

Once she removed her hand, Max, speaking more softly, continued, "We should go check the rooms."

We all eyed each other and agreed it was a good idea. Max and James searched the left side of the hallway while Carmen and I searched the right. We all had some metal tubing because, well, they last longer than wooden stakes. Any sharp object will do wonders. And, of course, headlamps for the night vision impaired. Nothing a hardware store could provide am I right?

Starting with the first door there was a sign with letters W and C below neckless human figures. Sure, it was a safe assumption it was just a washroom; however, I knocked it open anyway. As we had guessed, it was a washroom. The second door had BROOM CLOSET on it and, like the room before, I knocked it open and it turned out to be a literal broom closet. No buckets, no cleaning products, just brooms.

"Well, good things happen on the third try," Carmen said, standing in front of the third door. It was bare except for a faded outline of the room number.

"There's still two more to check."

She looked at me with a disappointed expression. "I doubt we're gonna find anything. And the boys've already done searching their side and started moving onto ours."

I sighed as I took my position to knock open the door. After I knocked it down, we were in for quite a surprise.

Carmen whistled. "I wasn't expecting that, but what terrorist group doesn't have supplies to make things go boom?"

The door with a number, to my surprise as well, was filled with materials used to make homemade bombs. Ammonium nitrate, blasting caps, C-4 blocks, wires, you name it and it was there.