Let's Go For A Pint (Vampire/Humor)

Episode 5 Bonus: A Hostage Situation

The following takes place after 5.5

I'm a vampire. I have super speed. Why do I take public transportation when I could run as fast as a cheetah? It's fair play as a hunting ground, though not the best place during rush hour. The body odour and the cramming of passengers into a small car, you get the idea.

I made it to the Tavern and took a seat at the bar. Bar rails were on special and I ordered two Extra Bloody Marys. They were just what I needed to get a certain someone off my mind.

"Had a spat with Carmen, Lena?" Basil asked while swirling his rum and coke.

"She fine, thanks," I replied, scooting away.

"What about that obsessive fanboy? The goth-looking kid?"

I scooted even further. "If you referring to Max, I-"

"Not Max." He sat on the second barstool from my left. "The ghost who's been making a mess in the Central-West district. He's still following you around, isn't he?"

I gulped the first glass and set it on the coaster. "Gone. Move on. I'm done." I glanced at the foosball table and notice one player was missing. "What brings you here and not there?"

Basil waved at the Bartender and ordered another drink. Once it was in his hand he answered, "I've been having attachment problems of my own. Glad yours is over and done with. Maybe you could give me a few tips?"

"Crazy-ass ex?"

He tilted his head back. "Much worse than a vindictive ex."

"Enlighten me. What is worse than Dr- I mean him?"

Basil placed an elbow upon the bar and leaned his head against his fist. "A hostage situation."

The worst!

He swirled his drink and continued, "I took home a human female as my meal, and I was certain I had her sedated. The plan was to take a sip and escort her back to where I snatched her, but she woke prematurely."

"I assume she freaked out when she saw you bearing fang?"

He let out a nervous chuckle. "If only that were her reaction. She freaked, but also claimed that I've abducted her to become my sex slave."

If I were a cartoon character, my jaw would've dropped to the floor and I'd be fixing it to my face. Best I could do was stare at Basil with my mouth agape. "That is the weirdest reaction to waking up about to be drained." The smart thing to fix the situation would be to hypnotize your food to sleep, or give them a Vulcan nerve pinch. Basil, even if he's century older, wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

"I expected something like that would happen using escort services. What I didn't expect is for her to have an abduction fantasy. So I played along pretending to be this aggressive vampire keeping her captive." He buried his face in hands and rubbed his eyes. "One month this has been going on and I can't get it to end."

I wasn't sure who the real hostage was in this situation. If Basil contacted the police and the crazy escort claims she was abducted, it'd be trouble for him. If he kept up the charade, he's at her mercy. "Why are you fucking here, and who is watching over her?"

"Like I'd keep a fully stocked bar in my basement," he answered while rolling his eyes. "What am I? An attractive millionaire with endless wealth?"

"You sought an escort service for a meal when you could've taken any human off the street."

He frowned and nodded, then downed his drink. The moment he set his glass down, Pirate Ghost poofed between us.

"I told ya not ta bring yer crack to the Tavern if y'ain't gonna watch 'er like an 'awk!" He slammed a fist on the bar. While his fist went through the wood half-way, it was with enough force to rattle the glasses and bottles.