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Carter's Pov.

I woke up on a couch and I was really confused so I rubbed my eyes and walked into the kitchen and saw Cam. I pretended I didn't see him and continued to get something to drink cause I don't eat that much I think it's pointless and then I heard somebody call my name and I turned around to see Cam holding out a sandwich. 

"No thanks." I said and smiled and he looked at me and tilted his head to the side and then he turned around and he continued to eat the sandwich and the JJ came storming down stairs and I went back to the couch and  got into my black Jasnport backpack and pulled out my old notebook that I plan and write in and JJ looked at me. Then 2 boys came down stairs and I wasn't paying attention so I put in  my ear phones and started writing. 

What's the reason? 

Why am I here? I mean I've been bullied I've been beat into the ground by my  own farther. So why am I still alive? I've tried Suicide. I was saved. By my own brother I guess he wasn't there but I don't know who else to balme. I don't know if  I should eat or not. I don't know where Raz is and he's my only friend right now and if I lose him I'll lose it. So what's the reason of living if you've been bullied abused  mentally  disturbed and everything else that you could think of and  I don't even know why. What's the reason of living my brother? My writing? My hope? Wait don't have any. There's literally nothing to live for. I mean yes I could have a good life with JJ and jack and the rest of the boys won't ever  be the same. I can't ever go back to being the same Fun and outgoing Carter I was its impossible I can't be the same and there's nothing anybody can do I just can't. So what's the point of living?  Nobody will ever be here for me and  nobody would notice if I'm gone so what's the point. Some people say the worst parts over but they don't know the half of it. The worst parts never over. Even for me. So why am I here?

"That's deep Carter. But I'll help you find a reason to live." Somebody whispered into my ear and hugged me and I turned to look and it was Cam. He had tears in his eyes and I didn't know what to do and so I hugged him back and he smiled into my shoulder and I didn't know what to do so I just hugged him emotionless and JJ walked in on us hugging and he took a picture and I let go. 

"JJ? Where's my room?" I asked and Cam looked at me and so did JJ and he pointed up and went to the stairs and told me to follow and I did. 

I walked into my room surprised and confused. My room was a black and white dot design and it had a quote on the wall and the bed was a twin the book cases were filled with my favorite books and new notebooks and I ran to the book selves and got the book Paper Towns by John Green and jumped onto my bed and started reading and I heard JJ leave and I felt like I had just traveled to Orlando Florida and was with Margo and Q and running everywhere. 

When I looked up from my book I looked at the clock and it read 1:11 A.M and I set my book down which was pointless I had just finished and I was just looking and I really wanted some water so I went down stairs and I granted a cup and poured some water and I went back up staid and turned out my light and I couldn't sleep so I grabbed my phone and called Cam. He answered. 

"Yea Carter"

"Can you come to my room?" 

"Sure."

He hung up and my door opened and Cam came in and he came to the bedside and patted the spot next to me and he climbed next to me and wrapped his arm around me and I felt safe for once.

"Thanks Cam. I love you." I whispered to him and I heard someone say something.

"I love you too Carter." And with that I fell asleep.


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