Beautiful Remains

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 (((POSSIBLE TRIGGER!  TAKE CAUTION)))

***

(CARTER’S POV)

No.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I got back to the house and, thankfully, no one was home.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket after going inside the bathroom.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I frantically pulled the back off and removed the battery to reveal my last razor.  Ash had no idea I had it.  I only used it in extreme cases.  As they always say, smile on the lips, cuts on the hips.

I thought back to what just happened.

***

(((Flashback)))

“Hey! Look! It’s that bitch from high school!” someone yelled.  I recognized one of Deystinie’s friends.

“She came into the store I work at with her faggot friends! She is actually getting married!” Deystinie yelled.

“She probably tricked the poor boy!”

“Or she is pregnant! She always was a slut!”

“Or she was going to marry her girlfriend! Even then it’s hard to belief!”

“She should have killed herself years ago! She is nothing but a burden on her poor fiancé! She should just go and visit daddy and stay there!”

“Isn’t her brother the fag that is dating the purple haired bastard?”

“OOOH YEAH! What’s his name again?”  Deystinie shouted, walking towards me.

“Warrior,” I say quickly.

“No, his REAL name!” she said, still coming at me.

“Mordechai,” I whisper.

“That’s right! He and his fag of a boyfriend were seen kissing goodbye in the hall the other day!  Before someone knocked the purple haired faggot down!”

“Don’t touch them,” I said, anger starting to find its way to my voice.  I hadn’t taken my medicine that morning, so normally I would have collapsed at the anger.

“What? What did you say?” Deystinie’s friend asked me.  “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!” she screamed before kicking my stomach.

“Don’t even waste your breath, Brooke, she is just a little bitch that needs to do the world a favor and kill herself,” Deystinie said as they started to walk away.

“Aw! Is the little bitch gonna cry?!” The other girl, Brooke, said as she followed Deystinie.

(((END FLASHBACK)))

***

I grabbed a paper, one last note.

Ash,

I love you, I’m sorry but I have to go.  My time here is up and you delayed my departure time for as long as you could, I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry that we couldn’t grow old and get married and have little Ashley’s and Carter’s.  Please don’t hate me.  I wanted to wait and see how our life would turn out, but I couldn’t, please understand.  Take care of everyone, please, don’t follow me.

I love you.

Forever and always,

Carter

I then wrote to Meri.

Meerkat,

I’m sorry.  I should have told you that I cut when I first started.  I was afraid that you would leave me and yell and laugh at me like everyone else.  I’m so sorry.  You are my sister.  Take care of your children, Oli, Ash, and War for me, okay?  I am sorry and please don’t hate me.

Love,

Cart.

I then wrote to the guys and gals of BVB:

BVB,

I’m sorry, but I had to, I can’t take it here anymore.  Without you guys and your music I would have done this so long ago.

Keep Ash, War, and Meri safe and don’t let them follow me.

I love you all, you are my family, please don’t be mad,

Carter

Then came the hardest one to write:

War,

My little Warrior. You have grown into a wonderful young man.  Please stay with Anthony as long as he makes you happy.  Take care of Ash and Oli and adopt a kid in the future, please?  Tell Gram, Pap, and the siblings I love them.  Please stay strong and keep and eye on everyone.  I’m going to find dad and tell him how awesome you have become.  Please stay an outcast, my Warrior.

Love,

Carter.

I grabbed the blade and started slicing, feeling the blood ooze out as I got deeper and deeper.  It hurt like hell, but I didn’t care.  I was seeing dad soon enough. 

“Carter? You home?” I hear someone yell.

“OHMYGOD CART-“I black out.

*** 

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