Thoughts and Other Things

What Dan and Phil Have Done for Me

On November 30th, 2015, the PINOF 7 video showed up in my recommended feed on YouTube. I'd seen Dan and Phil everywhere, but I'd never looked into them really. Heck, I didn't even know they were British until I actually heard their voices. I was bored, and quite honestly, the two fringe-adorned men intrigued me, so I clicked on the video. When I clicked that thumbnail, I never imagined seconds later I'd be laughing my butt off. The video was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I quickly fell in love with Phil's adorable quirky personality and Dan's kind but meme-like personality. I knew instantly that I'd found people who I could finally relate to. All my life I had been struggling with hiding the truest version of myself. I didn't really like the real me. I thought I was too weird, too odd, too strange for the world surrounding me. Everyone around me was "normal," so I decided I wanted to be "normal" too. But then Dan and Phil showed up. I watched video after video until I had actually watched them all. I laughed and smiled more than I ever had before. I noticed the way Dan and Phil were their true selves, not some fake personality for the camera. Yes, this discovery gave me a tiny piece of inspiration, but it wasn't until I stumbled across a certain quote from a certain man that I really was inspired. "It's a good thing to be strange, normalness leads to sadness," Phil had said. The realization finally hit me that I really was sad with who I was trying to be. Trying to be "normal" was actually destroying a part of me. Now, of course, I wasn't totally changed through one sentence from Phil. It was a progression through watching their videos that I became myself. Over time, the real Madison started to tear away the pieces of the fake Madison. Eventually, there was no fake Madison, only the strange Madison who was finally given the courage to show herself. Dan and Phil showed me that it is perfectly okay to be yourself, and you will find more happiness in who you really are. Dan and Phil have also been there for me in some of the darkest times of my life. When I felt like happiness was so far from reach, they showed me how to smile. They made me laugh when laughter seemed impossible. When I watched their videos, even if it was for only minutes, they made me temporarily forget all the horrible things I was going through. Even today, when I still have those days where my mind fills with the dark thoughts, they bring a light that makes me feel like that for even just a moment, I'm worth something in this world. They helped shape who I am, and they made me so much happier than I used to be. Dan and Phil play a very important role in my life, even if they live halfway across the world.