Gone Too Soon (Police Officer/Delinquent Relationship)

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"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take" – unknown

I've been to one funeral my entire life, my daughter Scarlett's. I was lucky that I didn't have much loss in my life. Scarlett's funeral was small and she was buried by the ones that loved her most. There was no big ceremony, a church with every pew filled. We didn't decorate a place with beautiful flowers and tables filled with pictures of her. I never had the chance to share many memories with her. The greatest memory I have of her was seeing her for the first time on the ultrasound. The worst memory was the day I realized I lost her and would never get the chance to hold her in my arms.

Funerals are more than just a day you try to celebrate someone's life. It's the day you get final confirmation that they are gone and they aren't ever coming back. It's the day you start to accept the reality of death.

Accepting the reality is the worst part of it all.

I didn't go to Levi's funeral. I knew I would not be welcomed if I decided to show my face. His parents not only blamed me for his death but also for severing ties within their family. I was the bad girlfriend that stole their sons heart. I was also the girl they held accountable—" My baggage in life costed Levi's his," that's what Mrs. Knight had said.

I haven't had my time to say goodbye yet.

DOA "Dead on Arrival," that's what I was told when I arrived at the station. 

They never said he was dead when they called.

They never even said there was an accident.

I just assumed I was going to the station to pick up a recommendation letter. I needed that letter to apply for a few college level courses.

I was getting my life on track.

I was getting a head start so once I was finished high school I would already be on my way to get some college credit.

I was doing everything right.

 As soon as I stepped into Boss Man's office though, Melody was sitting there with a withdrawn look and I just knew something had happened. They said they found him lying in the face down position, surrounded by a pool of blood. I didn't know why I still bothered to ask them if he was alright, but they repeated again that he was dead.

How?


Why?


How could this be real?


I miss him.


I didn't kill him!


After learning about Levi's death, it took me along while to get back into my normal routine.  I was forgetting to eat and the days all sort of blurred together.

It hurts being alone again. I had gotten so use to coming home and him just being there.

I took it all for granted.

When I'd come home from work, he'd already be there finishing up our dinner. We'd eat together and slip out onto the balcony and stay wrapped in each others arms.

We talked. He'd ask about my day and if I had done wrong, he was the first person to criticize me.  Not to be malicious but because he genuinely believed that I could do and be better.

I had a place, a home, in between his arms.

He'd make me laugh---which was more often the other way around.  I was the one with the funny bone. He could never outwit me.


He'd tell me about the things he's passionate about. Never once forgetting to tell me that I was one of them.---Sometimes he would look at me and smile for absolutely no reason at all.

Now when I come home, I feel his absence everywhere.


My friend Imogen keeps asking me how I'm doing and the only thing I can say with a brave face is------"I'm back to where it all began."

The life without someone to care for me.

The life where I have no family.

The life where I don't have someone to hold my hand and go through life's difficulties with.

The life where I don't have someone to be my 24/7 cheerleader- reassuring any talents or aspirations I may have.

I'm back to a place where I don't have someone waiting for me.



A/N: 5 comments for next chapter.

***read gone too far if you haven't already. This is the sequel.

Gone Too Soon (Police Officer/Delinquent Relationship) BOOK 2Where stories live. Discover now