In Your Dreams // phan

e l e v e n

"Daniel James Howell!" I shouted, my soulmate's name flowing off my tongue and into the crowded hallway like a song, catching the brunette's attention almost immediately. He turned to me, grinning, and I pushed my way through the gaggle of teenagers eager to get home from their first day of school to him.

We met in the middle, and he immediately took my hands. "Phillip Michael Lester," he replied, slowly, as if testing out how my name tasted in his mouth. I matched his smile, rubbing my thumb along the back of his hand, drawing circles and stars and shapes without names, content with the warmth his hands gave mine, how he was holding my hands and no one else's, how we were forced to stand really close to each other in order to not be carried away by the sea of high schoolers slamming lockers and talking to friends and on the phone, slapping their lips around the pieces of gum they had somehow managed to sneak past all the teachers.

"Have I ever told you how cute you are?" I asked, my eyes glossing over his dimples and lips and nose and deep auburn eyes. I took one of my hands and pushed his hair even further out of his eyes, lingering at his hairline, twisting a strand around my finger as his grin grew wider.

"Not enough," he giggled.

"You want to come over to mine?" I asked, leaning in even further as I was bumped by yet another person. We were then only inches apart. I could kiss him if I wanted. But I didn't know how he'd react. So I left my lips where they were, split into a smile at the mere proximity to the ray of sunshine that was Dan Howell.

At my words, his face suddenly dropped, his eyes going wide and full of fear. His breath started coming short as he shook his head quickly, stepping backward and dropping my hands.

"No," he gasped, still shaking his head. "No, sorry, but no." He closed his eyes and dropped his head, his hands curling into tight fists as he struggled to catch his breath. I was still for a second, but then jumped to action, seeing what seemed to be the beginnings of an attack. I grasped his hands, pulling his fingers apart and interlacing mine with them. He looked up at me, tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, but he looked away quickly.

"Hey, hey," I whispered, my voice almost inaudible over the steadily receding noise of the after school chatter. "Look at me." he complied hesitantly, unsure what I was going to do. "Breathe with me, okay?" He paused, but then nodded, his eyes shifting from mine to my lips as I inhaled deeply, and he copied me, holding it for a second before letting it out, his warm breath tickling my nose. I grinned, and breathed again. He steadily calmed down, and squeezed my hand.

"Thanks."

"Yeah," I replied, pulling him into a tight hug, "It's okay. I understand. This is moving really fast, huh?" He squeezed back, and the halls were almost empty by the time he answered.

"Yes."

"Let me at least drive you home." I said, pulling back and holding him at arm's length. He smiled and opened his mouth to answer, but PJ came up behind me, slinging his arm over my shoulder.

"I hope you're not replacing me, Lester." He chuckled, nodding hello to Dan, who just turned his grin to him in return.

"Oh, right!" I hit my palm against my forehead. "You're coming over. Right."

"Unless he's coming," PJ said, implying Dan. He let go of me and clutched the straps of his backpack. "I don't want to hear whatever happens in that room." PJ wiggled his eyebrows, making Dan blush furiously, his skin going from pale to beet red in mere seconds. I felt a blush creeping up from my collar as well, and decided to break the tension.

"He's not," I said quickly, dropping my arms. "But I am driving him home. Right?" Dan thought about it for a second, but then, with a shrug, nodded.

"Yeah." He then turned to PJ. "Shotgun." PJ's mouth dropped open slightly and he looked between me and Dan quickly.

"Feisty one you got there, Phil." He crossed his arms at Dan, a grin threatening to creep onto his attempt at a dead-pan. "Not sure we can be friends anymore, Dan."

"If it means that much to you, I can sit in the back," Dan replied hastily, but PJ just hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"Only joking, mate." He grinned, and we made our way out to the student parking lot, nearly empty a mere half hour after school let out. My car was one of the last ones there, and I quickly opened the passenger door for Dan, bowing deeply and gesturing him inside. He grinned sheepishly as PJ made a gagging noise, pushing past him to get to the back seat, my car only having two doors. He popped the seat back in place and Dan sat down, pulling his backpack onto his lap. I shut the door and made my way around to the driver's side, digging in my backpack for my keys.

"-not really," Dan finished as I sat, starting the engine. PJ scoffed in annoyance from the backseat, leaning back.

"I got, like, an hour's worth. On the first day! How much homework did you get, Phil?" I shrugged, wrapping my arm around the back of Dan's seat to see out my back window as I backed up. PJ crossed his arms as I shifted into drive.

"Nothing."

"Unbelievable," he murmured. I glanced at Dan, who was looking at me,and we both looked away quickly, smiling. PJ gagged again.

"Here we are," I said a few minutes later, pulling up in front of a nice blue house, putting the car in park. Dan grinned, clutching his backpack to his chest tightly and pushing the door open, leaving quickly.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Dan, wait!" I said, unbuckling and popping my door open. "Let me walk you to-"

"No, it's fine. Bye, Phil. PJ." He slammed the door shut and practically ran to his front door, slipping inside without a backward glance. PJ was already sliding up into the passenger seat as I buckled back up, shifting the car back into drive. He whistled softly, gazing around the street.

"Nice place," he mumbled, almost to himself. I turned to him quickly, clutching the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were turning white.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked quickly, before I could rethink telling him about my dream.