In Your Dreams // phan

s i x t e e n

Phil and I spent almost the entire night Skyping, which probably wasn't the wisest idea. Because we could both barely function at school the next day.

But we clearly didn't learn from our mistake, and spent the next night doing the exact same thing. And the one after that. And the one after that. We were both averaging perhaps two or three hours of sleep per night, before we agreed that was a ridiculous statistic that we couldn't possibly maintain, and reluctantly decided to abandon that night time ritual.

Truthfully, his phone call hadn't awoken me that first night; my body did that of its own accord. My sleeping had always been irregular and sporadic. So it was no surprise to me that I found myself awake in the very early hours of the morning, just in time for Phil's call.

It was surprising, however, to see that Phil was calling me in the first place. A very pleasant surprise. I liked talking with Phil, even when the subject matter wasn't the happiest. He'd told me about his parents. About how when his dad passed away his mum grew kind of distant and how she neither shared, nor encouraged, his enthusiasm toward soulmates

It was sad, yes. But I didn't really understand why he was worried about me seeing that kind of stuff. It would only remind me of how strong Phil is, and make me admire the way he always thinks positively when everything else may be trying to discourage him from doing so.

It was different to what Phil had to see. There was nothing strong or admirable about watching me have a breakdown over virtually nothing. If Phil could withstand the hell that I was putting him through, then I could most certainly handle whatever Phil's past had to throw at me.

Fortunately, our subsequent Skype calls were of less depressing subject matters. We complained about school work and the weather. We discussed novels and video games. Phil always did most of the talking - he had more exciting stories to tell - but I never minded. I liked listening to him talk.

I had only just finished straightening my hair after another night of very little sleep when I heard the doorbell ring. "Shit," I muttered, as I hastily stuffed books into my bag and slid my shoes on. I was usually more prepared in the mornings. Always out the door and waving goodbye as soon as I saw Phil's car pull up.

But I accidentally fell asleep again after our Skype call, and left myself less time to get ready. Which means Phil had time to get out and knock on my door. And my parents had time to answer it.

I raced downstairs desperate to get there first but my mum beat me to it. I watched on helplessly from across the room as she swung the door open. Barely a second passed before my mum exclaimed, "Oh! You must be Phil!"

I could just see Phil's face through the doorway. He looked surprised at first, but then smiled. "I am. And you must be Dan's mum."

"That I am. I've heard so much about you! You look just as handsome as Dan described!"

At this point I'd made it to the door. "Mum!" I whined, embarrassed. She spun around to look at me and grinned widely while I blushed deeply. This was what I was trying to avoid.

Phil chuckled and before another word could be exchanged between the two I pushed past my mum and headed straight toward Phil's car, Phil following after a polite, "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, sweetie!" my mum called from the doorway. "Have fun at school you two!" After a moment's pause she added, "Not too much fun though!"

"Oh my God. Drive. Now." I pleaded as soon as the both of us were seated. Phil laughed again but followed my request without complaint.

"So," he began as we pulled onto the main road, "you talked about me to your mum?" He was still smiling, beaming from ear to ear. I, on the other hand, just scowled at him as I sunk further down in my seat with embarrassment.

The rest of the ride was good, after Phil had had his fun and moved on. It made me forget where we were going for a few glorious minutes. But when we pulled into the student parking lot I remembered, and the anxiety started to kick in. As it always did. Not badly, just a dull sense of anxiousness that I always associate with stepping out of my comfort zone.

Phil hopped out of the car first and made his way around to my side to open the door for me. He waited for me to climb out but I was frozen, eyes glued to the nightmarish building before me.

"Are you coming?" Phil asked, after seeing that I wasn't moving. I snapped my head around to look at him and saw that he had his arm outstretched, offering me his hand. I took a deep breath before nodding my head and lacing my fingers with his.

I made to pull away after my feet hit the ground, assuming he was only helping me out of the car, but Phil held on tightly. And I sure as hell wasn't about to argue.

"You look very cute today," Phil said with a smile as we made our way through the front doors.

I blushed. "So do you."

Phil waved my compliment away with his free hand. "Oh please. I look awful today. I didn't get much sleep last night," he said smirking at me.

"Oh really? What on earth were you doing?" I asked coyly back.

"Just chatting with the most gorgeous person on the planet."

My cheeks heated up even more but I kept up with the game. "You know, talking to yourself is a symptom of schizophrenia. You should probably see someone about that."

Phil laughed. "Just accept my compliment, okay?"

"Why? You didn't accept mine!" I argued back playfully.

"Ahh, trouble in paradise already?" PJ suddenly appeared at my side, and Chris on Phil's. I was once again so swept up in Phil that I momentarily forget where we were. The addition of extra people abruptly reminded me that the real world existed outside of our little bubble.

"You alright there, Phil? You look tired," PJ observed. Phil looked at me with an I told you so sort of expression and I rolled my eyes. My compliment was sincere; he did look cute today. Despite how obviously tired he was.

"Didn't get much sleep," Phil answered nonchalantly. A look of concern passed briefly over PJ's face but was quickly erased when Phil added, "I was up all night talking with Dan."

Chris scoffed. "Talking. Is that what we're calling skype sex now?" PJ broke into a fit of laughter and Phil spluttered incoherently at Chris' remark. I wasn't too sure how to react because I still wasn't sure where I stood with Chris, and that made me nervous.

I sensed some hostility to his words but that could have just been my brain over thinking things as usual. I tried to tell myself that it was just the paranoia as neither Phil nor PJ seemed to pick up on anything.

So I let out a nervous chuckle, hoping it didn't seem as forced as it felt. Which was basically my aspiration for every interaction I had with people.