In Your Dreams // phan

f o r t y t w o

"How were plans with Adam?" I asked as I hopped into Phil's car. I intentionally dragged out the 'Adam' to let him know I wasn't too pleased that he blew me off for him. I didn't think I was the jealous type. I thought wrong.

"I lied. I wasn't with Adam," Phil replied casually, though by the way his knee bounced and he bit his lip to contain his smile I could tell he wasn't all that casual. He seemed excited. Maybe a little nervous too.

To be honest, I wasn't all that shocked. I had my suspicions that he wasn't where he said he was. Since the day we met he had never once not driven me home from school. It would take something important for him to break that streak.

And the fact that he didn't give me a straight up answer also led me to believe that he was up to something. My brain, as per usual, had jumped to all the worst conclusions. He was cheating on me. He didn't want to be around me anymore. He was planning to break up with me.

But I decided I didn't want to listen to those voices anymore. I decided I wanted to listen to reason instead, for reason was far kinder to me than the ludicrous explanations my paranoia had to offer.

Reason told me Phil was planning a surprise for me. It told me that he noticed how sad I was and was determined to fix that. It told me, in bolded capital letters, that Phil loved me. That he cared for me. That he would go to the ends of the earth just to see me smile.

And that thought alone was enough to accomplish that.

Phil took me to a park. A different one to where we danced, and again I doubted that actually counted as a park anyway. This one was away from main roads, and was dotted with towering trees and glowing streetlamps. I had been there before but never at night. And it looked spectacular at night.

He took me to the centre of the deserted park, and laid down a picnic rug. "Sorry I couldn't have it all set up before we arrived. No guarantee my stuff wouldn't get nicked," Phil laughed. "No fairy lights this time, I'm afraid."

"That's okay," I smiled, because who needed fairy lights when you had the real stars to gaze upon?

Phil continued setting up our picnic. He'd upgraded from a phone speaker to an actual speaker, through which he played not only Tifa's Theme, but others songs from the Final Fantasy VII soundtrack. Instead of a box of maltesers Phil brought a whole variety of chocolates (maltesers still included amongst them of course). And instead of a single dandelion he had a bouquet of dandelions. But dandelions before they turned white. Dandelions of a vibrant yellow.

"Where do you keep getting all of these?" I asked, as I plucked one out of the bunch. "I doubt they'd sell them in flower shops."

"We have a tonne growing out the back of my house," Phil answered, as he too picked one up. "It's a shame that they don't sell them. They're a highly underrated plant."

"And why are they underrated?"

Phil shrugged. "People don't realise how resilient they are. People ignore them or try to get rid of them because they see them as weeds. But they keep coming back. Hell, they break through concrete just to prove to the world they're as pretty as any flower. Which they are."

He was still twirling the dandelion in his hand but he was staring straight at me, not the plant. I reddened under his gaze and turned my attention to the unopened box of maltesers. We chatted aimlessly for a bit, during which time we somehow ended up lying on our backs with our fingers intertwined.

We weren't looking at the sky, though, only at each other. "You know I love you, right?" Phil whispered. I smiled lazily back at him and nodded.

"And you know that I'd love you even if you weren't my soulmate?" he asked.

I knew this was coming. I was waiting for it. He wasn't going to leave my comments from earlier today unaddressed. "Why?" I asked, not answering his question but posing a question of my own.

"For a million different reasons, and I'll get to those in a second. I knew before I even found out that you were my soulmate that I loved you. You know what the first words out of my mouth were when I got home from the library? The day we met?" I shook my head, totally enthralled by his words.

"Mum, I'm in love."

I stared at him skeptically. "You're making that up."

"Am not! Ring her and ask her yourself if you like. Right now," Phil let go of my hand to pull his phone out of his pocket but I laughed and stole his hand back.

"Okay, okay. I believe you." I believed all of it. Because I understood now that love wasn't tied to soulmates. Soulmates weren't needed to find love, and love wasn't always found between soulmates. And for once in my life luck was on my side. Because I had both.

But Phil had a whole evening planned and I was going to let him see it through. "Now, hit me with those reasons why you love me," I said cheekily, making Phil laugh.

"I love your dimples," was the first thing he said. He poked his finger into my cheek and I swatted his hand away with a smile. "I love your eyes," he said, brushing my fringe out of the way so he could see them both clearly. "And your lips," he said, leaning over to press a kiss to them.

"It seems you only like me for my body. I'm offended," I whispered huskily, as his lips made his way down to my neck.

"I also love your sass," he murmured, his words tickling me. Suddenly he pulled away but my skin still tingled wherever his mouth had touched. He stood up and grabbed both of my hands to pull me up too.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused but obliging.

"I need you standing for this," Phil said cryptically. He rummaged in his bag and pulled out a box, before kneeling in front of me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Shock accidentally let the words slip out of my mouth. I was growing warmer to the idea of one day marrying Phil, but that didn't mean I wanted it right now. Eventual marriage, not immediate.

"It's not an engagement ring, calm down." He chuckled at my reaction, seemingly not taking offense. "It's a promise ring. When I say that I love you I want you to know that I mean it. I really, truly mean it. And it pains me that you're so reluctant to believe that. If you could only see yourself through my eyes.

"You'd see how strong you are. How brave you are. How kind, how intelligent, how funny, how generous. I can't see anything not worth loving, Dan. I could write a whole book of reasons why I love you but until the day that I do, I'm hoping this will be enough to prove it to you."