In Your Dreams // phan

t w e n t y t w o

I drifted in and out of sleep and consequently, only saw snippets here and there of Phil's childhood. I saw him reading a novel beneath a tree. I saw him grocery shopping with his mum. I saw him find a stray dog and take it home, and then cry when his parents wouldn't let him keep it.

I kept waking up because I wasn't used to sharing a bed with someone. I'd feel Phil's breath on my neck, or feel him stir beside me, and my eyes would snap open in alarm. Then I'd instantly calm down when they landed on Phil.

It was going to take some getting used to, but I was happy to do it. It was a nice feeling sleeping next to Phil , and feeling the warmth from his body and his arm draped across my chest. It didn't feel constrictive, it felt protective. And I absolutely loved it.

After waking up a few more times I decided to just stay awake. It was nearing time to get up anyway. And though I already got to look at Phil in my dreams I decided to spend my waking hours looking at him as well.

He really was beautiful. Breathtakingly so. I had thought so when I had first met him but he only got more beautiful with time, as I got to know him more and see how beautiful he was on the inside too.

He had his brows furrowed and his lips slightly parted. I reached out to very lightly skim my fingertips along the bruised skin beneath his eye. It looked worse than yesterday; more painful. And the cut on his lip was still visible, though very nearly healed. I frowned at the injuries, not wanting anyone to ever lay a hand on him again. I wanted to be the only one allowed to touch him.

I moved my hand further up and gently ran it through his hair. I could be bold with my actions; it was far less scary when he was asleep. His features relaxed a little under my touch and he hummed quietly.

Did he really love me? Or was he swept up in the moment? Perhaps he only thought he loved me because I was the one who woke him. Perhaps it was simply the relief at being freed from the nightmare.

I wanted to believe that he truly meant it, but it was a difficult thing to to believe in. The idea that Phil could love me was just as ludicrous as a fairy who traded baby teeth for money, or a fat man who flew through the sky and climbed down chimneys to deliver presents. I wanted to believe but I just couldn't see what was worth loving.

Phil's eyes slowly fluttered open. When they rested on me he smiled lazily. I made to pull my hand back, but Phil lightly touched my outstretched arm. "That feels nice," he murmured.

I hesitated but took my hand back anyway, blushing. Like I said, it was easier when he was asleep. Phil didn't seem to mind though. He yawned and ran his hands over his face. "What's the plan for today? Are you sure you don't want to go to school?"

"I'm one hundred percent sure. I only went in the first place to see you." I felt okay admitting that now; that Phil was the reason why I broke my streak of absence. "We'll do whatever you want to do."

Phil smiled and laced his fingers with mine. "I want to stay here the whole day. Like this." His eyelids fell closed again. "Is that okay?"

My cheeks grew even pinker and my heart started drumming loudly. "Absolutely."

We didn't actually end up spending the whole day in bed, though I have no doubt we would have if things like food and bathroom breaks weren't a necessity. Instead we watched more movies, we played more games and we aimlessly walked around the town for a little bit too.

While on our walk we held hands and it all felt very couple-y. And very real. And it caused my heart to flutter and my hands to shake nervously. Phil being in contact with one of my hands obviously noticed.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm just a little... nervous."

We stopped walking and Phil turned to look at me with concern written on his face. "Why? What's wrong? Do you want me to take you home?"

I laughed slightly at his over protective attitude and waved off his concern. "Everything's fine. Everything's perfect," I hesitated before continuing. "It's just, I've never been on a date before. I don't really know how to act," I admitted.

Phil squeezed my hand gently and smiled at me. "You're very adorable, Dan. But there's no need to be nervous." We continued walking before Phil added, "Because this isn't a date."

"It's not?" It certainly felt like one. My knowledge in this area was limited but surely this constituted a date.

Phil shook his head. "No, definitely not. Our first date has got be spectacular. It's got to be so overly cheesy and romantic that Nicholas Sparks himself will want to publish it in his next book."

I laughed at how enthusiastic he was being toward the whole idea. "Okay then, what's the plan?"

"Oh, I can't tell you that!" Phil said appalled and dramatically clutching his chest. "It has to be a surprise!" I bumped his shoulder playfully, and he let a smile take over his face once more.

"And also, there is no plan. Yet. But I have some ideas."