In Your Dreams // phan

n i n e t e e n

I leaned in Dan's doorway, examining the contents of his room. Mostly black, which is what I assumed. A collection of stuffed animals gazed down at me from their perch on Dan's wardrobe, and a few scattered posters; bands, video games, and a few photos of him and his family. That part surprised me. I'm not sure why; maybe I didn't mark him as the sentimental type.

He rounded on me, his eyes wide in fear. He relaxed once he saw me, but only slightly.

"What are you doing here?" He asked quickly, holding his hand close to his chest. He was on the ground in front of a broken mirror. I quickly analysed the situation. What could I say to him so he would let me stay? Did I make a mistake coming here? Was he actually ignoring me? I came because I thought something was wrong. What if the only thing wrong was that Dan was angry at me for getting him in trouble?

"Your parents let me in. They're really nice." I came over to him and sat next to him, prying his hands away from his chest. I examined the cuts and bruises on his knuckles, touching them gently and gauging his reaction. It didn't seem too bad, nothing a few bandages and kisses wouldn't fix. He leaned into me, and started to shake with quiet sobs. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly."Are you okay?" I whispered into his hair. He took a deep breath and shook his head no. I rubbed his back.

"Were you ignoring me?" I asked. He shook his head again. "Are you mad at me?" He looked up.

"I broke my phone." He mumbled. I felt a chuckle escape my lips even though it was such a tense time. He broke his phone. That's all. I was worried for nearly an hour thinking he was angry at me for getting him in trouble, so much so I even went back to the school to plead my case. But all that was wrong was that he broke his phone.

And his mirror.

He eventually joined me, and we just sat there, laughing and crying and just holding our soulmates. One week. It's been one week and already I'm so in love it hurts.

I'm in love. What does that even mean? How do I know what that feels like if it's never happened before? I knew that I wanted to spend my entire life with Dan. I knew that I wanted to hold him so tightly that all his broken pieces fit together and he and I were whole forever. I didn't know if I should tell him. One week isn't that much. Some people didn't confess their love for their soulmate for years, even after they had spent every waking moment with each other and every moment they were asleep inside each other's memories. I realised, just then, that I knew Dan better than almost everyone in the world. Maybe his parents knew him better than I did, and he probably knew himself better than anyone, but it's only been one week and already I know more about him than the entire school does.

Which is why I'm convinced that if they just got to know him they would love him too, and I wouldn't have to get into any more fights.

My mum was barely even aware of what happened. I came home after the principal had rang her, and she just asked if I was okay. I just put some vaseline on my split lip and examined the rest of my face. I looked fine; I might have a black eye tomorrow but that's not a problem anymore, as the only person who would be seeing me is my mother, and maybe Dan if he found the time to Skype me while in school.

"I'm going to clean you up, okay?" I asked, pulling away. He sniffed and nodded, and I got up, moving to the bathroom right next to his room. I looked around. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it in the sink, glancing at myself in the mirror. I looked kind of tough. I sneered at my reflection, making myself chuckle, ruining the image.

"So, I'm staying home from school on tomorrow," I said as I gently pressed the cloth against his hand. He winced slightly, but watched in rapt fascination as the white cotton steadily turned pink. It was so weird; there always seemed to be more blood than there actually was when you were cleaning it up.

"What?" He asked suddenly, pulling his hand away.

"Yeah. And the rest of the week." I shrugged and took his hand back in mine. I finished with the blood and just held it, examining the bruises. "Stop punching mirrors, Dan." I tried to make light of the situation but Dan was emotionally hurt by my words.

"No!" He begged. "Please. I need you there. I don't want to go if you don't go." I brought his hand to my lips and kissed the bruises, making his mouth drop open slightly.

"I went to Bailey and told him it wasn't your fault. I took a week's suspension so it won't be on your record and we can have classes together." The way I said it made it sound simple, but it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I've never bargained so much, or cried so much, in front of a teacher. I even pulled the "I only have one parent" card on them, and told them about how stressful my life has been ever since my brother left for Uni. I didn't care what I had to do or say; as long as Dan and I could spend time together.

The suspension wasn't ideal; my hope was that it could be later in the year when Dan had become more accustomed to school life so that he didn't need me. But Bailey said it was now or never, so I accepted graciously. PJ would take care of him for me. And now I could text him more often.

"Then I'm skipping." He stated, looking me in the eyes as if he was daring me to say other wise.

"Dan, you need all the school you can-"

"I'm. Skipping." He said, tightening his grip around my hand. I just smiled and nodded, leaning in closer to him.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. But I just raised my eyebrows as a flush came over his cheeks. He looked away.

"I like assertive Dan." I mumbled. He blushed further, pulling away.

"Maybe now you can take me on a proper date." I was shocked that he said that, but it quickly melted away into pure fondness.

"I'd like that."

"Do you want to spend the night?" He asked quickly.