Ereri - One shots

Pull me back

Authors Note: Okay so this one is gonna contain a few trigger warnings as this will be touching on suicidal thoughts and the such so please if that triggers or bothers you please don't read this. Be safe my lovelies. Anyway, enjoy!

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt

Wind ripped at my clothing, pulling me slowly closer to the edge. Birds fluttered by, calling a song of shattered hearts. Tears rolled steadily down my cheeks, sending small shivers down my spine as the wind froze them in place. So cold. I wrap my hands carefully around my frail body,  terrified yet excited of what I was about to do. So many times I have come up here, but now, I was certain this time I would do it. After all I have nothing left, no one who cares, nothing to care for. My time on this pity-full earth had finally come to an agonizing stop, it was time to stop wasting air on something like me, nothing far from a monster. I'd be doing this planet a favor in all honesty. I shuffle closer to the edge, my shoes scraping over the gravel of the rooftop. I let a deep breath of air escape, watching as a small cloud appeared before my face before it dissipated to nothingness. A small smile appeared on my face, I was happy to have finally made a decision, it had taken me so long to accept that all I was was a waste of space, I would try to talk myself out of thinking like that, I even tried a therapist. What would he think of me, if he saw me now? Would he care? Would he run and take me in his arms? Would he try to stop me? Would he watch? What would he do? I laugh a twisted laugh, of course he wouldn't care, why would he? I look slowly over the edge, cars whizzed by, people laughed and talked, nothing was different. Nothing would change, the world wouldn't stop turning, just because I would leave, it wouldn't do anything but lift a load from peoples shoulders. This is it. Time to go. I walked forward one last step, the other foot hanging over the edge. Slowly I started to lean, my balance shifting, my body falling forward. A breath of relief escaped my mouth as I left the ledge, my body hurling towards the pavement. My eyes closed and I prepared myself for freedom.

 My thoughts stopped, my wishes got crushed, something had stopped my fall. Someone had stopped my fall. Firm arms wrapped around my waist keeping me firmly in place, stripping me from my freedom. Said arms pulled me up from where I was hanging, not a difficult task as I weighed near to nothing. I was brought close to something warm, soon the arms wrapped around me once again, this time encasing me in a hug. Seconds dragged on, realization slowly dawned on me. Why am I still here? Anger flared up in my chest as I realized this it was all this persons fault, they had stopped me from being free.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE?! WHY DID-" my breath hitched and harsh sobs cascaded from my mouth, I hit my fist against the persons chest in a weak attempt to break free. The only thing they did was hold me closer. Tears crashed down my cheeks, the full weight of what had happened caused me to collapse fully into the comforting warmth. 

"I couldn't let you leave me." The familiar silky voice reached my ears, Levi? Tears stung my tired eyes, he didn't mean that, he was just saying that to make me feel better, after all he was my therapist. Minutes passed and we simply stayed like that, him holding me tight, trying to keep my shattered body together. Finally I moved away from him, shocked to see his always sublime hair disheveled and his eyes stricken with worry, did he really care? No. Don't be stupid.

"How did you know where I was." I whisper, too afraid to make full eye contact, hanging my head in shame. I never wanted anyone to see me like this, despite him being my therapist I have never shed a single tear in front of him. To my surprise I saw him give a small smile from the corner of my eye,

"I could track your phone Eren." I internally face palmed of how stupid I had been to not turn off the tracker on my phone. Levi had installed it in case he was worried about me, I guess today was one of those times. I can't believe he went through all that trouble for something as worthless as me. 

"Why did you bother?" I couldn't help but ask, the nagging curiosity wouldn't let me let the question go. He sighed and turned my head with his hand to make me face him,

"Eren, I don't know how many times I have to say this, I seriously care for you. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I know you won't believe me, and trust me I don't expect you to at this moment, but, I seriously hope that one day you will realize how truly amazing you are." My eyes watered slightly at his words, how could he think that highly of me? Despite all my doubts and all my questions I couldn't lie to myself about one thing at least, someone cared. Regardless, it was my therapist, someone cared. In honesty, that scared me more than anything, I knew that I could and most likely would end up fucking up his life. But fuck if I wasn't going to try to make him proud. I found a small, genuine smile on my face and my eyes grew wide immediately. I really was going to try to make myself into someone worth caring about.

"I can't do this alone Levi." I instantly regretted saying it, it sounded like I was being selfish, I sounded like I was forcing him to stay with me,

"You won't have to Eren, you'll never be alone again."