Chris & Eva - Is it desire or is it love?

21.

Nissen School, 2:49pm

Eva was standing in the hallway, together with Vilde and Noora. She only followed their conversation with one ear since they were talking about some russbuss scandal of one of the Penetrators. It didn't really interest her because she had enough of all those fuckboys, not considering Chris none of them were worth the thought. Besides, she was already thinking about what she was going to say to Jonas later.

Then Vilde interrupted her daydreaming. "Eva? Did you hear what I said?"
She shook her head and answered: "No, sorry. Say it again, please."

Vilde sighed, obviously offended by the lack of attention her friend was showing towards her. "Have you talked to Chris?"

Eva narrowed her eyes at her. "No. I told you I was going to wait, remember? First I gotta talk to Jonas anyways, he's acting all extra still."

"Oh, okay. Tell me how it went then." Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she had a look at her phone. "Frick! I gotta catch that one guy because of our russbuss party."

"Frick?" said Noora laughing.

"Yes, frick. Sounds so much more lady like than that other f-word." She sounded all serious.

"Alright, then go catch your Penetrator."
Eva added giggling: "Lady Vilde." Vilde ignored them mocking her and rushed down the hallway.

Noora was still smiling, then she glanced over Eva's shoulder and raised her eyebrows. "When did you want to meet Jonas?"
"We didn't really agree on a certain time I just told him to approach me here at school."
Noora nodded, then she continued: "Because he's walking towards us right now."

Eva turned around and saw Jonas coming closer. "Okay, I think I should go now. Text me later how it went." Noora waved at her, ignored Jonas and walked past him. Then the two of them were alone.

"Hey." She couldn't quite figure out how she was supposed to act towards him so she tried to stay natural.

"Hi, Eva. Glad we can talk now."

She nodded and replied: "So what do you have to say?" It was obvious that she hadn't been the one to initiate the talk so she wanted to let him start.

"Well I wanted to know why you decided to use me for the purpose of making Chris jealous. If you think that's okay then that's fucked up."

"What? I didn't try to make him jealous, I was drunk and kissed you which was a huge mistake if you ask me." His eyes flickered when she said "huge mistake"...

"Great, just great Eva. Doesn't explain why you chose him over me afterwards."

What a great start, she was fed up already. "Honestly, Jonas. What do you want? It's not even like I chose him over you. I actually chose no one."

Jonas furrowed his eyebrows at her and took a step towards her. "You chose no one? I must have been to drunk to witness that then because all I remember is him jumping me and you defending him for doing so." 

"Well because you went crazy! I have never seen you like that before and it scared the hell out of me. It was like I saw a whole new Jonas in front of me."

"I was only defending myself against your dumbass boyfriend who is - by the way - the biggest fuckboy. I thought you knew better than choosing someone like him." Why was he already so in rage? She had barely even spoken coherent sentences up to this point.

"Okay, slow the fuck down. First of all: He's not my boyfriend and I know he's a player, no shit Sherlock. And then: it's none of your damn business who I'm seeing because you ruined our relationship. So there's no reason for you to be jealous or feel like I owe you an explanation. I can do whatever I want, we're broken up."

"But-"

"And we will never get back together. If that's what you were planning then I'm not even sorry. You hurt me so badly, made me feel like I was a worthless piece of meat and you didn't even realise. So if I want to have fun with other guys I can totally do that and you're gonna have to accept it, okay?"

Jonas was starring at her with his jaw dropped. He seemed to be speechless which made Eva feel like she had said the right things.

"Wow. I... What happened to you? You seem so different Eva and I don't know what to think about that... You have changed." 

"I have changed? Yes, that's exactly what happened and I'm so glad about that. I did all of this by myself, I got over you and started to think about me, what I want and who I really am. Of course it seems like I am different, because the Eva you knew was kissing your and everyone elses ass all the time, trying to fit in and please everyone but herself. But she's gone now and I'm finding back to my true self. If that doesn't suit you then I can't even say we'll stay friends because I have to cut off all the negative people in my life to focus on myself. Do you understand that?"

"Oh, so Chris is a positive person? You can't tell me you really believe that, you're just saying that as an excuse to be bitchy." He was so passive aggressive that she took a tiny step back without even noticing it.

"Jonas, you gotta be kidding me. Leave Chris out of this, he had nothing to do with me changing. And also that's just so typical for boys to assume girls are arrogant bitches that think they're better than everyone if they're confident. Believe it or not: Girls can put themselves first. What's wrong with being confident?"

He looked at her for a second, then he started laughing. "Nothing but you seem to turn into a huge slut."

Silence. Eva was completely shocked by what Jonas had said. She wanted to scream at him, ask him what his problem was and who gave him the right to judge her. But her throat was suddenly so sore and tight, she couldn't get out one single word. Instead she felt how she was tearing up... How was that possible, her ex boyfriend called her a slut and she started crying like a little girl? He had triggered something in her that she had been trying to get over the past months...

Even Jonas himself was looking surprised as his eyes widened and he stuttered: "Eva... I... I'm sorry I-"

"You know what?" Gosh her voice sounded so whiny... "Fuck you, Jonas. I don't even need you as a friend, this is never gonna work out." She probably looked like a lunatic, yelling in the hallway and crying at the same time but she didn't care. "Just leave me alone."

Before he could say anything, she turned around and left him. At first she was afraid that he was going to follow her but after a few fast steps she realised that he didn't which made her be able to breathe again. She still couldn't believe that she had tried to put up with his bullshit, what a waste of energy. All she wanted was to get home.

                  

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