On Edge • Lauren/You

• F O U R •

Journal story: thirty nine
(September 18th, 2009, Friday 1:36 pm)

God Y/N is so cute I don't know how my family would feel if I thought she was cute but she totally is. I catch her staring at me sometimes too and I just hope that Mrs. Wilson just puts my desk next to hers so I can at least be close to her. She smells really good too! I wonder if it's natural or what brand her mom uses because I just want to be around her all of the time. I never knew having a crush in the sixth grade could be so hard. I just wanted to go over there and hold her hand or something! Ugh I wonder if they were soft and I wonder how they would feel in my own-

Mrs. Wilson just now thought I was writing a note and almost made me read this in front of the class. Omg if Y/N ever knew I wrote this she'd think I'm a total freak! Everyone was staring at me I hate when people stare at me like I did something wrong. Then again Y/N did look at me so she has to know who I am! Her stupid Y/E/C eyes had to be the best eyes in this world right about now. Who knew an eleven year old could steal my heart without knowing?

I love her so much and I don't even know what love is- my mom told me that. I told her I had a huge crush on someone and that I loved them and she laughed saying I didn't know what love is at the moment. But I swear I did. My heart goes thud thud every time I glance at her or if she answers a question in class I just swoon over her smartness and how pretty she is when she smiles. She can barely say one word to me and I can literally die in my spot from my heart beating too fast. God I love Y/N  Y/L/N.

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Journal story: three hundred nine (August 16th, 2010 - Monday, 12:08pm)

Holy balls I think Y/N and I are friends now we just had a really long conversation about how much we disliked our P.E. Teacher Ms. Wade. She even said she loved my eyes! I think we're gonna get married in the summer or something because my eyes are like shit and she complimented on them! My mom said I couldn't be in love with her because I haven't talked to her but now I can totally tell her I can be in love with her now! I'm currently supposed to be writing my math homework down but I just can't stop thinking of the way she talked to me today. A whole year and a half and she finally talked to me.

We laughed and smiled it was so amazing. She's so amazing. I can't believe she said she loved my eyes though. I think I blushed into a puddle and had to rebuild myself if I'm being honest but God she didn't even comment about it. She has such a great heart. My friend Dinah said she's on the basketball team with my friend Hailee's friend Austin..(you're gonna confuse yourself when you get older) but I already knew that because whenever my mom is late picking me up from school I'd secretly watch her play.

For an almost thirteen year old she had some muscles and I swear these pervert boys couldn't stop staring at her I mean geez we're twelve/thirteen they shouldn't be looking at her like that. I can't believe I wrote over a hundred pages about her and I haven't talked to her till today. Well a few times before because I accidentally tripped in front of her but that's beside the point. She's so great-

Omgggggggggg SHE TALKED TO ME AGAIN! She just leaned over and whispered that she liked my shoes! She then gave me her work because she already knew I wasn't paying attention. She freaking knows me! She pays attention to me now omg I can't even believe we're friends now! She's gonna love me I can feel it.

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Journal story: five hundred thirty eight (April 2, 2011 - Saturday, 3:52pm)

Y/N and I are such best friends now like holy shit I never thought I'd ever get this far with her. We hung out like literally allllll the time and she's always so touchy with me. I feel like my brain and heart is gonna explode she has no idea what she's doing to me. But she said she had a crush so it kinda hurts that I can't be hers in a way. I just wanna kiss her soft lips and have late night talks with her as we watch High School Musical or something. Don't judge my movie taste I'm thirteen and still love that movie who cares? So does Y/N. Well I think so if not she only watches it because of me. That'd be soo freaking cute! She's cute no matter what ugh.