Timeline Fuckery

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Kakashi was actually training us. He had us learn tree walking in a day, water walking in three, and was now teaching us one at a time and doing team building training on Fridays. We are gonna be way stronger than canon...

I cursed, my body trembling from exhaustion. I was currently sparring with one, Kakashi Hatake...and by sparring I mean getting my ass handed to me.

I didn't have the chakra for anything big, running at around twenty-five percent. Kakashi at least had the decency to put away his book to make me at least feel like I stood a chance...

I threw my knee towards Kakashi's chest, knowing he was fast enough to catch it, and counting on it. When he did, I pushed off, bringing my opposite fist around towards his face.

His eyes widened as he reacted on gut instinct. He grabbed my wrist and spun, slamming me into the ground with enough force to make me see stars and knock the wind from my lungs.

I coughed my arm hurt so bad it made all the other pain from the fight pale in comparison. ".....the fuck, Sensei? That hurt like a bitch..." I tried to move, my body protesting this by flaring the pain. "Shit, shit, elephant penis stuck in a kitten, covered in crack whore shit..." I cursed as I sat up, my arm was dislocated and I was covered in bruises and welts.

Kakashi gripped my hurt wrist, then pulled. And by pulled, I mean it felt like he tried to rip it off. The clicking in my shoulder told me he'd just realigned my shoulder, but the pain told that it really, really hurt.

Kakashi eye smiled. "You're definitely getting stronger. You actually almost managed to hit me just now."

I nodded. I as strong as Sasuke was during the second part of the chunin exams. Take that, Duck-butt-chan!!!

Kakashi pulled me to my feet. "Why have you started training so hard, Sasuke?"

Ah, shit... I'm no good at acting, time to pull a win out of my ass. "Sensei... I realized that the night Itachi did what he did... he'd been crying the entire time. When he saw me, he forced me to relive it for seventy-two hours. He made sure I would hate him...but why? He said he was trying to test his power, but as strong as he was he could've done that to the anbu. The Uchiha clan had alot of civilians, how is that a test of strength? I think there's more to it than that. I don't wanna kill him, at least not outright. When he's at my feet, beaten to a pulp, I'll get the truth and decide if he gets to live.  Other than that... this team... you...Naruto...and even Sakura sometimes... you're all the closest thing I've got to family... I'll die before I let anything happen to my new family."

Kakashi nodded. "With that, I'm willing to teach you a jutsu. A jutsu I created, purely for assassination and all out combat. Use it, not as a shield to protect your allies...but as a sword, to cut down their enemies." He lifted his right arm up, facing his palm upwards. Then I watched as lictricity danced in his palm, taking the shape of a spear tip around his hand. "The chidori, made of shape manipulation and compressed lightning chakra. The sharp edge, point, and extreme heat allow the chidori to cut through nearly anything. I once cut a lightning bolt in half with it."

I nodded. That sounded... Cool as shit. Also I already knew that crap from the anime. "Let's get started then, Pervy-Sensei."
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Several weeks went by before Naruto and I 'discovered' something. (And yes by 'discovered' I meant I hinted to Naruto that we could chanel chakra through our muscles to increase our speed, using a similar chakra exercise as the wall and water walking exercise.

Considering how much chakra Naruto had, he couldn't do it as effectively as I could, but he could do it for far longer, ugh the little fuck could spend more chakra in ten minutes than I could in a week...lucky bastard.

Wonder if that transfers to the bedroom? Who else thought of something perverted? Just me? Oh well, I miss pornhub and my...girlfriend... wait... what was her name? Shit. That's not good, I may have a problem... FUCKING CANADA! What the hell is MY NAME?!?!

"Sasuke? Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

I shook my head, clearing the very disturbing thoughts of my apparent identity crisis. "Yeah... I uh... anyway. Make me a few dozen clones. I wanna practice."

"Practice what?" Naruto asked, curiously after he made the clones.

I grinned, activating the seal on my wrist and bringing out my bow. Naruto's eyes widened.

Then he yelled. "Clones! Get the hell away from me!"

"Naruto. Relax I won't shoot you...by mistake." I smirked at his appalled expression.

We trained for weeks, I was waiting for Naruto to get us the wave mission. I learned to fire my bow with decent accuracy, I could use the chidori four times in a day, and I was looking for a sword teacher. Naruto, after being told about clone training, could fight me to a standstill in taijutsu, and he'd picked up a pair of metal plated gloves like mine. Speaking of he got a couple more new tools.

"Tenten!" I yelled, as Naruto and I walked in to the weapon shop.

Tenten looked at me. "Hey you're back, and you brought... is that Naruto?"

Naruto wasn't wearing his orange jacket, instead he wore dark blue pants, and a green short sleeved shirt with the gloves. "Yup, believe it!" Naruto held up the piece sign.

I chuckled at that. "Blondy here, would like a weapon. But he doesn't want a sword and has no talent for a bow. What do you think? Is he shit outta luck?"

Naruto glared. "I kinda like your dagger, but it doesn't feel right, maybe I need two?"

Tenten's eyes widened as an excited smile lit up her face. "I know what's be perfect!"

She ran down the aisles, leaving Naruto and I behind.

I looked at Naruto. "Did you see the way her ass moved when she ran?"

"....WHAT??? Ero-Sasuke!" I shrugged.

Then she came back, holding a dark green pair of trench knives with serrated edges.

She handed them to Naruto, letting him try them on. He threw some practice punches, smiling like an idiot. "These are awesome..."

I nodded. "Tenten, ring him up. I'm paying, on one condition Naruto....don't start smoking."

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