Holy Crap I'm Sasuke!

Forest of Dammit

Naruto, Sakura, and I spend through the trees until Sakura halted us in a clearing.

I instantly recognized the clearing from where Team 7 got jumped by Orochimaru.

"We need a plan, any ideas?" Sakura asked, for once looking like a serious ninja. After being blue balled by Anko, maybe I was giving her too much credit.

"Let's just wait here." I told them, getting confused looks from both of them. So I sat down. "I made a bunch of enemies in there, half of the squads need our scroll to continue, and have you guys forgotten that I'm from the future? We are going to be jumped by a grass ninja. I say we wait."

Sakura shook her head, "I understand, but you know we are going to be attacked because of your past, well you've obviously changed the timeline alot, who's to say that we get hit by the same guy?"

That...was actually a good point... but theres no way that Orochimaru would turn up the chance to get me. "Alright... then let's play a game. We are definitely going to be attacked by this guy, trust me, so let's set traps."

At that Naruto's face broke out into an evil grin.

________________________________________

Orochimaru chuckled, then breathed in, simultaneously going through several hand signs. "Wind style: Great Breakthrough!"

He bellowed a blast of powerful wind that carved a massive path towards the unsuspecting genin.

When it hit them, they exploded into white smoke. "Shadow clones!" Then pain flared his back as Sasuke landed behind him, Katana drawn.

Sasuke had landed and sliced open his back, so Orochimaru spun and back handed the boy, creating another plume of white smoke. "Stop playing these games, Sasuke-kun, I just want to give you a gift."

A wire tripped as he turned and flung a massive demon wind shuriken at him, which Orochimaru easily sidestepped.

Then he heard a spoof as the shuriken turned into Naruto holding a rasengan, which he threw at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru ducked, nearly being taken out by the destruction projectile.

An arrow sunk into his back, making him stumble, electric energy jumped through his body from the charged arrow and then Naruto and Sasuke charged from behind and in front of him.

Naruto held a rasengan, Sasuke held the infamous chidori.

"It appears I cant play games with you brats..." Orochimaru cursed before catching both boys by their wrists and hurling them away from each other.

Naruto slammed into a tree hard enough to splinter the bark, but Sasuke stopped himself by channeling chakra to his feet.
___________back to my pov__________

The traps didnt work as well as I'd thought they would. Oh well, time to kick a pedophile in the dick.

A sick grin formed on my face at the thought. In that moment, I made it my mission to hit him in the dick.

I sheathed my sword and charged, engaging Orochimaru in taijutsu.

It was clear I was out matched, but he fought me the way you'd fight a kid, leaving himself open to be surprised.

I threw my head up, my eyes widened and my mouth opened, "Shit!" I made to jump back, but when Orochimaru turned his head upward I threw my boot up into his groin, chakra empowered force sent him flying back.

Naruto jumped down towards me so i caught his arm and hurled him towards Orochimaru.

A clone shoulder slammed him to stop his momentum and the real Naruto slammed feet first into Orochimaru's crotch. Orochimaru punched Naruto with full force as he fell to one knee. The clone dispelled and Naruto was knocked unconscious, but Sakura jumped from the treeline.

"SHARRRAAAANNNOOO!!!" She screamed, bringing her fist down, mimicking naruto and my chakra strength enhancement.

Orochimaru tried to dodge, but he barely threw his head and chest back, making her hit him, with a superhuman punch, directly in the dick, shattering the ground around Orochimaru.

Oh my God, I think I love my teammates. That was just so beautiful...

Cant last forever though. Lightning coated my hand and my sharingan began to spin, "Hey Moose Knuckle!"

Orochimaru turned his bloodshot eyes towards me, eyes full of pain and anger.

"Catch!" I grabbed my dagger with my chidori and hurled it, creating a chidori projectile.

It hit, but Orochimaru exploded into mud and a felt him grab me and bite my neck from behind. Pain unlike anything I'd ever felt flooded my mind. It felt like my chakra had caught on fire.

"Goodbye.... Sasuke-kun..." he wheezed, then shunshined away.

______With Orochimaru and Kabuto____

Orochimaru sat on his bed with an ice pack under his crotch.

Kabuto had his hands aimed there with a suppressed grin on his face, "I cant believe they all hit you in the balls..."

"Fuck you, Kabuto..." he replied, his voice much higher pitch than normal.