Tainted

13 - Vee: Fear

"Fucking men," I swore, mumbling to myself. "Should've been a lesbian - then I wouldn't have to deal with half of this shit."

I set off towards the bus stop, tugging my purse along with me as I ventured.

I was thankful that Colt left me alone to my thoughts. I didn't know what to feel with Colt sometimes and it was ireful.

His envy was overwhelming... At times, I thought that it was dominating our relationship. Simply because Colt lived off of the rule: Do what he wants, when he wants to. That too, without analyzing the consequences of his actions.

His ideologies meshed together with mine was an utter disaster.

He never let me just explain my side of the story, and only bothered to listen after the damage had been done. He was a typical macho man - his only concerns remained to be about inferiority, possession and how good he was in bed.

As if it were the only things that mattered.

My tiny bump was poking out in a round shape now. Just enough for me to run my fingers over it and feel like I was actually pregnant.

The thing was that Colt didn't even realize it, even after all the physical time we'd been spending together. Well, that, or he refused to recognize it all together.

Colt was arrogant, cocky and controlling, but my chest still ached in vulnerability every time I realized that I was beginning to like him more and more.

He wasn't horrible, he was tolerable. Although he was a jealous asshole, he was my baby's father for a reason and I knew that it meant something.

Colt would come around... He seemed set on trying, and for now, that was good enough.

I just hoped he'd come home later and make up with me so we could pretend that nothing happened. Because really, nothing did happen. All Avan did was text me to ask how I was, and Colt flipped his shit like he was insane.

Stepping off the bus, I thanked the bus driver and sighed.

Although Linda gave us the day off today, I decided to go to work anyway and see what I could do to help her, just to keep myself busy. I could easily envision Colt's nostrils flaring at the thought of it, but I was desperate.

After walking the short distance to the plaza, I stopped at the door to find the salon was closed.

Looks like Linda gave everyone the day off, I thought, turning back to the bus stop. She even gave her hungover - self the day off.

I did not freaking want to be locked up bored at home, so instead, I decided to go to a few stores along Oxford Street.

I strode along the short distance in the brisk air, keeping my hood up and my hands stuffed in my jacket pockets. Masses of people passed me by and I smiled at the foreign faces, striding aimlessly.

This is what I'd yearned for my entire life. An opportunity to roam a foreign city filled with unknown faces and famous destinations. Being here made me feel like I finally belonged somewhere, when really, I didn't - this wasn't my home just yet, but I'd hope for it to be someday.

It was almost like all these years I've had nostalgia for places I've never known. And now that I was here, I never wanted to leave.

I inhaled the petrichor scent of London city, shivering due to the bittersweet windchill. Like, who would've thought that I would be walking down Oxford Street?

Eventually, I ended up at a small book store; it wasn't all that busy inside and it seemed quaint. I loved reading, it had always intrigued me, being one of the best escapes besides escaping itself. But to find the time and energy to read became tough for me to do.