Tainted

33 - Vee: Aesthetic

Friday, May 30

On Wednesday I had finished work and caught a quick bus down to visit Ben. I didn't want him to spend too much time alone in a damn hospital room for God's sake. Sure, he had TV and the nurses coming to check up on him once in a while, but that wouldn't stop me from seeing him while he was alone.

I knew he'd object immediately; he'd encourage me to find something more useful to do then to waste my time keeping him company. But I'd learnt a while ago that nobody liked being alone as much as they led on - no matter how many times someone says they're better off alone, they usually aren't... It was something I knew growing up, and tested over the years.

Nobody deserved to be alone.

"So what'd the doctors say?" I asked, my laughter dying out along with Ben's light-hearted chuckles.

Ben was such a sweetheart to me. Back in Toronto, you never really found guys that were as willing to be charming and quirky selves like Ben was. He was good looking too, light brown hair, fair skin and a crooked smile.

It was a wonder how I never swooned at his warm, hazel eyes.

"They told me that I'll be in here for just tonight cause they need to monitor my brain activity and the affects of the concussion. And then my arm is being a bitch - I can't take a piss without a nurse babysitting me. But by tomorrow morning I can go home, so I'm not complaining."

I sighed, playing with the cuff of his flannel pajama shirt. "I know, man... But you'll be out and back and running before you know it. Time will go by so fast, you won't even realize it."

He nodded, his expression becoming somber. "I just have so much time to think now... Like actually think. I hate it."

I dared myself to ask. "What's on your mind?"

He swallowed thoughtfully, keeping his eyes down as he spoke lowly. "That drunk driver."

My stomach churned at the remembrance of last night - I was completely distraught by Ben's concussion that I forgot about the drunk driver.

I pushed away my invading thoughts quickly.

"He could have killed you."

"But he didn't," Ben contradicted all too quickly, his frown telling me everything he wasn't saying.

"So now you're wondering, 'why me?'" I raised an eyebrow at him, my voice soft.

He balked. "Well... What if it had been me? I mean, this guy had a family. He probably had personal issues and drank that much for a reason, I just -"

"Ben," I cut him off, shaking my head. "You're too kind for your own good. This guy could've been a criminal for all you knew. Don't stress yourself out about someone who made such a big mistake on their part. It's not your fault. He was the one who drank."

He cracked a smile. "I reckon you're too sharp-mouthed for your own good, Marino."

I laughed wholeheartedly at that. "Did you know, that there was a time in my life where I used to let people walk all over me?"

His eyes shot up in legitimate curiosity. "You're serious?"

"Yeah," I nodded with a half smile. "If you needed something, I would be the one to go to the ends of the earth to help you get it. I was literally Val the pushover, Val the nice one, Val the helpful one, Val the one that didn't back talk or disobey orders or break the fucking rules. Can you believe it?"