Adopted by who!?

numb

I was numb.I sat their staring at the thin cream wall of the bus.The sun started to claw its way through the cracks in the blinds.It settling its golden rays on to my laptop screen which sat open on twitter as it constantly refreshed almost freezing at how many mention would be flowing in per second .Normally I would have pulled the blinds right up and bathed in the warm glow ,but right now I couldn't.I felt nothing as I pulled at the lose threads in my trousers before I would stop scrunch my hands into fists before releasing them back to pick at my trousers.I didn't feel anything.Not sad.Not angry.Not anything.I was completely numb.There were no tears in my sore eyes.I had no doubt in my mind that they were probably bloodshot from staring at the bright screen whilst sitting in the never ending darkness.There was no sound in the room ,I could here Casey's snoring and Miranda's sleep talk from the bunks but where I was sitting it was silence ,a deathly but peaceful silence ,It pounded against my ears but yet at the same time it comforted me,it pulled me into its arms and embraced me.But it still did nothing.I felt nothing so I did nothing .

Even when Nia and Iain came into the room,a cup of hot coffee grasped in their hands.Their conversation halted when they saw me and they quickly placed their mugs down before rushing to Me.I could hear their speech,asking me what was wrong, but it was distant and blurred and even though Nia was shaking me I could do nothing.Iain's hand grasped the laptop in front me ,so gathering thats where my restless eyes were staring. He pushed toward him ,scowling at the screen as he scrolled down.He slowly pushed the screen down as he looked up at Nia and said something to her .I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear what he said ,but whatever it was it caused Nia to sigh before rushing clumsily back to the bunks.Iain's hands wrapped around each arm before his arms hugged me to his chest his hand gently stroking my hair.But my arms didn't return the hug they sat limp by my sides but as I heard more frantic steps coming to the room,I forced myself away from him. Miranda crouched down in front of me ,her eyes staring directly back at my dull green ones.She's was speaking to me but stopped when she saw I wasn't playing attention so she spoke to Rena who nodded gently before leaving but quickly coming back and handing me a towel and my wash bag.I nodded rising to my feet.I plodder to the bathroom my feet heavy.

The hot water soaked my body suddenly,waking me from my wide awake slumber.I gasped pushing my hand to the wall.But as quickly as my facade failed ,my tears started to pour down my face. I quickly got out if the shower my feet skidding across the Floor.I pulled my clothes in that Rena had grabbed me not bothering to dry off.I pulled the cotton fishnets up my legs before putting my jeans I over the top.I had a plain white shirt what I think was Rena's pulled over the top and it hung loosely down to my thighs .I yanked the door open but I quickly saw Iain and Rena making phonecalls .Sound check was going to be early as due to the heat in this state at midday the acoustic hangout was pushed towards to sound check time.I looked at Casey and quickly stuck a thumb pointing towards the stadium .

'Um ,I'm just gonna ...go " I said before walking towards the stadium.I waited In the seats waiting for hey violet to come on Stage.They did ,eventually ,of course late as usual though .But its when they did I was reminds this was MSG.So naturally they were ecstatic ,it was msg and all family was coming .

I Sat there the whole time,whilst soundcheck was in -whilst the acoustic hangout was on - even after.I stayed there only moving when the doors opened to which I quickly scampered to back stage hoping to not be recognised.I sat by stage ,I was cheering my head off but it was fake,I couldn't find happiness In this place .Even if this was massive for my family .I just couldn't. I could just imagine how many people in the crowd had said something about Rena .About Miranda .About Nia.About Casey .About Iain .About Hey Violet .About me.

So how could I be happy