echoes of silence *WWE Fanfic

xxii.

In the morning I'm awakened by the sunlight hitting my window. I get up and walk to the balcony.

It's a chilly but sunny morning. I wish I could enjoy how beautiful everything looks but I can't.

Last night I barely got sleep. I'm tired, hungry, and upset. I haven't eaten properly in days but I don't want to go downstairs and eat with Seth.

Maybe later I can sneak down and steal an apple at least. I leave the balcony door open and walk to the bathroom to wash my teeth and face.

The mascara under my eyes makes them look baggier. I didn't even bother to take it off when I got here last night.

I start washing my face with cold water to wake me up. Soon there's red, black, and other colors on the sink.

After I'm done I start brushing my teeth. The water is dripping from my face onto my neck and breasts.

"In order to get one of those guys you have to have big melons honey." Lana says looking at my breasts.

I've always been insecure about them but now that Lana is pointing it out it makes me feel more insecure.

"I know but I don't have any money to get them done." I whisper sheepishly. My eyes can't help to glance at her breasts which are at least three sizes bigger than mine.

"You can start saving by coming to the club." She says. "I already strip there and it's not enough money for me to save up for that type of thing."

"You can start sleeping with men there. You'll at least get a thousand or two a night depending on the guy."

I'm still not used to stripping in front of people and now she's asking me to sleep with clients? "I can't."

"Don't you want to get a boob job so you can sleep with filthy rich men? How is sleeping with other men for money different from that?" She asks. "Well..." my voice trails of. Is this really what I want?

"You decide, Nicole. You can try to get in college, get a degree, pay tons of student debt. Or you can work at a fast food restaurant get paid 7.50 an hour. Or you can join my business make three thousand a week and get to meet important rich men who are willing to spend tons of money on you. I can help you pay for the boob job if you're willing to join in. You pick the hard way or the easy way."

I spit the toothpaste in my mouth and cleanse my mouth. When I'm done I stare at my reflection again. I picked the easy way.

My thoughts are interrupted by a noise. I walk out of the bathroom and see Seth standing by the balcony.

He's facing outside and I quietly walk behind him. Maybe I can tiptoe to the door and leave before he has time to insult me again.

"How are you this morning, Nicole?" He says without facing me. I freeze and hold my breath. "Alright." I finally say quietly.

"Last night you seemed pretty upset." I roll my eyes and want to scoff but I don't. "You called me shallow. How could I not be upset?" My voice sounds a bit bitter.

"Was I lying?" He asks. I look down at my bare feet. "No. You weren't lying. I know I am shallow."

I hear him turn around and walk to me. When I see his feet right in front of me I start feeling nervous.

"I'm sorry." The words come out of his mouth but I can't believe them. Seth Rollins apologizing to me?

My eyes slowly look up. "What?" I ask stupidly. "I'm sorry. I was harsh. I didn't mean to be so harsh. I didn't want to make you cry."

"Why does it matter what I think?" Rollins can have any woman he desires. He's powerful, tough, important... so why is he apologizing to me?

"Because you matter to me." He replies. My heart starts speeding up and I chew the inside of my cheek.

"I'm so unimportant. Why would I matter to you? It just doesn't make sense to me." He keeps looking right at me.

It's hard to look him in the eyes because he's so intimidating. "You have a low self esteem. Do you know that?"

"Am I getting scolded again? So what if I do have a low self esteem?" My voice sounds defensive. "This is what I mean. You're constantly insecure about everything. If I bring you to live with me you're insecure."

"If I buy you a dress you're insecure. If I even look at you you're insecure. You think I only want you for your looks and body. Don't you?"

I press my lips together not answering. "Well you're wrong, Nicole." He says quietly. "Then why did you make me go topless in front of you?"

"Do you want the ugly truth or a pretty lie?"
He asks stepping closer to me. He's so close now that I can smell his cologne.

"I want the want the ugly truth." I say nervously. He breaks the eye contact and looks somewhere else. "I wanted to humiliate you." He says very quietly. Too quiet that I can't hear him. He almost sounds ashamed.

"So you humiliate me and hurt my feelings but I matter to you? You have a weird way of showing it sir." I say a bit angry.

"I'm not good at expressing emotions, Nicole. I tend to act impulsively and do things without thinking. Just know that I want to help you. I don't want you to continue to do what you do. Why is it so hard for you to understand that your body is not everything you have?"

"Because that's all I've been taught. I didn't want to be a prostitute. I wanted to be someone big, someone important, someone that everyone knew. I had dreams that slowly rotten because being a sex object is all I've been since I can remember. I'm not smart enough or talented enough to do something else. I'm weak, I'm greedy, I'm shallow. I want all the money in the world to fill up my empty soul. But no matter how much money I have I will always be miserable."

Seth looks at me and I start to blush. I look down at my feet again and feel my body get hotter.

Suddenly I feel his arms around me and I'm shocked. At first I tense but slowly start to relax at his touch.

"Oh, my Nicole, you're so damaged." He whispers.