echoes of silence *WWE Fanfic

xlvi.

My heart starts beating faster as I hear the ring in my ear. A part of me hopes Brie doesn't answer the phone.

"Hello?" Brie answers. I smile hearing her voice that seems like I haven't heard in forever. "Hey Brie."

"Nikki? Oh my gosh! Hey!" She sounds so happy to hear me and it warms my heart up. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm good. I have some great news." I can technically feel Brie grinning over the phone. "What is it?"

"Bryan and I are getting married!" She squeals. My mouth drops open and my throat goes dry. "Aren't you happy?" She asks.

"Yes. Of course I am. It just took me by surprise." I say. "Well believe it sister. He proposed a few weeks ago."

"Didn't you just met Bryan though?" I ask feeling the warm breeze hit me. "Yes but I feel like I've known him my whole life. We like the same things and I just feel so happy with him. I'm ready to start a new life with him, get married, and have kids."

My heart slowly sinks as I remember Seth's words. "I want you to be happy, to get married, to have kids, to grow old. And that's not going to happen with me."

"I'm very happy for you, Brie. I wish I could've been there for your proposal." I say feeling my chest ache. "You definitely have to come for the wedding. It's going to be in a few months. We haven't gotten the exact date yet."

"Well I'll definitely be there for the wedding. In fact I'll be there this weekend." I mumble. "What? You're coming! Oh my gosh! I have to tell mom and JJ! You can meet Bryan and we'll make you a dinner and it's going to be great. I'm glad you're coming to spend a weekend with us we miss you."

"No.. you're not understanding. I'll be there this weekend but because I'm moving there."     "What do you mean? Is Rollins moving too?"

"No. I'm moving by myself." I respond feeling the tears building in my eyes. "What? He's letting you be free? Just like that?"

"Mhmm." I mumble my throat getting tighter. "That's great, Nicole! You can finally get away from that world and start a new life. I've already gotten a job and I'm sure if I ask my boss he will-"

Brie stops talking when I start crying. "Nikki?" She whispers softly. I keep crying feeling my a pang of nasty, dark, sadness in my soul.

"What's wrong?" She sounds so confused and concerned. "I don't want him to let me go." I say sniffing.

"What? Why? Don't you want to see us?" She asks. "I do. I want to see y'all so bad but I'm just torn." The tears start spilling from my eyes again. "Why?"

"Because in love with him, Brianna. I'm so madly in love with him. And the thought of never seeing his face or hearing his voice again makes me want to die."

•••

"You have to eat, Nicole." Seth says looking at my full plate. I gulp down the knot in my throat that's been there since I talked to Brie.

Yesterday, I was really good at pretending to be okay but right now I'm broken. "I'm not hungry. Can I go?"

I keep avoiding eye contact with him because seeing his face will make me burst into tears. "Okay." He replies.

I get up from the table and walk towards the stairs without looking back. Once I get to the room I close the door behind and sit on the bed.

My mind is blank. It feels like a frozen computer screen that keeps trying to load. I'm just staring at my reflection through the glass window.

"Nicole?" Seth says. I don't look at him and keep staring at my reflection. Seth sits beside me almost touching my thigh. "I'm okay Seth. You don't have to worry about me."

"How can I not?" He asks. I can see his reflection through the glass as well. His eyes are fixed on me.

"I'm okay." I repeat. "This is hurting me too, Nicole." He says. I can literally feel the hurt in his voice and this makes me look at him.

He looks so, so, sad. I thought that I was in pain but looking at him this way is more painful that anything in this world.

"I know." I respond. "I don't want to do this. I promise I don't. There's just no other way to keep you save and I hate myself for pushing you away. All I want is to be close to you and to never let you go." His voice cracks in the end and for a second I feel like he's going to cry.

I scoot closer to him and nod my head. "I know. I'm sorry for being hard on you. It just hurts a lot." I whisper my chin quivering.

He leans his head against mine while we keep looking at each other. "I'm so sorry, Nicole. I'm sorry because you fell in love with a guy like me. I wish I was a regular guy with a regular job. I wish we would've met some other place in other circumstances. Then maybe all of this would be different."

"Me too. I wish we would've met while I was working at a fast food place as a waitress. You would've came in the restaurant and ordered those pancakes you love so much. You would've left me a tip because you thought I was cute although I was a horrible waitress. And you would've kept going there everyday. Until one day you finally asked me out. And we would've gone out and talked for hours and hours in your car while the moonlight kept hitting us. Then we would've kept going out on tons and tons of dates. We would've gone to the beach- because I've never been there- and we would've laid on the grass while watching the stars. And..."

"Then I would've asked for your hand. You would've said yes of course. We would've planned our wedding for months. Nothing too fancy. Just something warm and cozy for our families. We would've gotten married and had ten kids." He jokes.

"Ten?" I ask with a chuckle. "Yes ten my lovely Nicole." He responds with a smile. We start laughing while looking at each other.

While laughing I start feeling the tears falling from my eyes. I wrap my hands around his neck like a tourniquet.

Because none of that will ever happen.