echoes of silence *WWE Fanfic

xliv.

There's a knock on my door and my heart skips a beat. I'm imagining Seth standing behind the door holding a rose.

I'm imagining him walking in and apologizing for last night. He would say, "I'm sorry, Nicole. I don't want to push you away because I love you and I can't live without you."

"May I come in madam?" Sadly, the one knocking on the door is Dean. "Yeah." I reply disappointed.

He steps in and stands by the door. "Breakfast is ready ma'am." He says. "I'm not hungry." I say turning to my right side and staring at the wall.

Seconds later I hear Deans footsteps and the door close behind me. I'm really angry with Seth because he didn't even ask for my opinion.

He didn't ask for what I wanted. He's doing this without even asking me how I feel about the whole thing.

My eyes feel heavy and they hurt. I'm pretty sure they're swollen and red from crying. Every time I think of not having Seth by my side it breaks my heart.

A tear falls from my eye and then I hear a knock. With the back of my hand I wipe my tear and pull the covers on me.

"I said I wasn't hungry, Dean." I say out loud. "I'm not Dean." Seth says as he closes the door behind.

I stop breathing and only bury my face deeper under he covers. I feel like such a teenage girl crying like a little girl but how can I not?

"Nicole." Seth quietly says. I feel him sitting on the bed and he lightly touches my back. "Come on I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you." I say covering my ears and squeezing my eyes shut tight until I see stars. Like that's going to stop me from feeling like my whole world is falling apart.

"Please. I need to talk to you." He says softly. I open my eyes, uncover my ears, pull the blanket off and sit up.

"Talk to me about what, Rollins? You made yourself pretty clear last night. You don't want me here and I get it. Just tell me when and I'll leave."

Seth gives me miserable look and sighs. "You know I don't want to do this." He says quietly. "Then don't." He doesn't answer instead he gets up from the bed and looks out the window.

I get up from the bed and follow him behind. I'm waiting for him to turn around and tell me something. He finally turns around and looks down at me.

"Nicole do you not understand? Your life is in danger. It's always going to be in danger as long as you're by my side. How can I protect you if I have to protect you from myself? I don't want you to live like this."

"How do you know that? What if I want to live like this?" I ask. "Well I don't want you to. I want you to be happy, to get married, to have kids, to grow old. And that's not going to happen with me. If you stay with me we'll always be on the run. We'll always be chased and we'll always be hiding."

I feel my chin quiver and the anger in my veins. "You're so selfish, Seth!" I scream pushing him with my hands.

"You're selfish because you're only thinking about you. What about my feelings huh? Don't my feelings matter? You don't even listen to me. I don't want to leave you. I want to stay with you. But you just want to push me away. Then you say you want me to be happy? How can I be happy if you are my happiness?"

He looks at me sadly as my cheeks turn red in anger. "You're so selfish! You don't even think of what I feel! I hate you for that! I hate you!" I start banging my fists against his chest and suddenly feel my tears pour from my eyes.

He grabs my hands and pulls me in for a hug. "I'm so sorry, Nicole. I'm sorry I'm hurting you. I'm sorry."

He wraps his arms around me tightly as I cry against his chest. "No, you're not sorry. You're so cruel for doing this to me."

"Nikki-" I pull away from his grip and wipe my face with the back of my hands. I walk to the bathroom and close the door behind locking it.

"Nicole, please let-" I interrupt him before he even finishes. "I want to take a shower. Can you please leave?"

After a few seconds I hear him walk away and my heart sink. An overwhelming wave of sadness falls over me as I sit on the cold floor.

•••

"Ma'am?" Dean says as he knocks on the door. "Yes." I reply from my bed. Dean walks in with tray of food.

"I brought you something to eat since you haven't eaten all day." He says as he makes his way to my bed.

My hair is still wet from the long shower I took. After I cried for what seemed like an eternity, I took a long shower.

My eyes hurt so bad. I still want to curl up in a ball and just cry but I guess my eyes got too tired.

"I'm not hungry." I say honestly. There's a hole in my stomach that food won't even fill up. "Ma'am, I know I'm just a body guard but I really think you should eat something."

"Food won't fill me up." I reply with loud sigh. "It'll be okay ma'am." Dean answers. "How do you know?"

He looks me in the eyes and gives me a small smile, "Because in the end it all ends up being okay. It might take days, months, years but eventually it will be okay."

"You believe in that time heals you thing?" I ask with a low chuckle. Dean shakes his head no.

"I don't believe in that. Time doesn't heal you. I think we just somehow just get used to it."